OXFORD DICTIONARIES’ NEW WORD FOR 2014: SELFOOD

Photo courtesy of MyBayKitchen.com
Photo courtesy of MyBayKitchen.com

London, Great Britain (The Adobo Chronicles) – In 2013, Oxford Dictionaries named ‘selfie’ as the word of the year. A self photograph taken with a mobile device, selfie became an international buzz word earning it an official spot in the English dictionary.

With just five months remaining in the 2014 calendar, Oxford Dictionaries just announced that it has included a new word this year: selfood.

A noun defined as a photograph taken of one’s food and posted on social media, selfood has tremendously grown in popularity and is expected to break the record of selfies. (A person who takes the food photo is called selfoodie).

In home kitchens and restaurants, in 5-star hotels and mobile food trucks, people have become addicted to taking pictures of food right before digging their fork or chopsticks into the edible work of art served before them.

It is estimated that 49 percent of photos posted on social media are those of food. Search engine companies like Google and Yahoo have expressed confidence that by the end of 2014, selfood will take over selfie as the most common activity on the Internet. And the most popular word for that matter.

So, let’s go take a selfie. But first, let’s take a selfood.

U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION APPROVES NEW PILLS TO CURE SELFITIS

Selpram in green, blue and red pills
Selpram in green, blue and red pills

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The. U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced the approval of a new pill that would cure selfitis, the obsessive-compulsive urge to take photos of one’s self and posting them on social media.

Recently, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) officially classified selfie-taking as a mental disorder with three levels of the disease: borderline, acute and chronic.

The FDA announcement unveiled three color-coded pills that doctors can prescribe to their patients: green for borderline, blue for acute and red for chronic selfitis. In clinical trials conducted prior to the FDA approval, the pills showed an efficacy rate of plus or minus three percent.

Selfitis
Selfitis

The new pills are similar to FDA-approved drugs that fall under the category of SSRI, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, used to treat depression and anxiety. The new pills’ manufacturer, Actavis which recently acquired Forest Laboratories, said the new drug will be marketed under the brand name selpram . Forest Laboratories owns the brand name Celexa (citalopram) which is prescribed for depression.

The FDA announcement came as a huge relief to selfie addicts, a population that has grown to  almost 1 Billion worldwide. Equally, Facebook and Instagram users will be spared from the agony of having to deal with their friends’ selfies all too frequently posted on their walls.

Selpram will be available in the market starting this fall.

 

 

 

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO PREPARING FOR HIS SECOND SIX-YEAR TERM

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – NoyNoy Aquino is reportedly busy preparing for his second six-year term as president of the Philippines, despite a provision in the constitution that limits the presidential term to one six-year term. This nation of 100 Million people will go to the polls in 2016 to pick their new president.

The Adobo Chronicles has uncovered a top-secret memorandum from Malacañang (the presidential palace) setting aside 10 Billion pesos from the president’s Disbursement Acceleration Program, or DAP, to fund a nationwide grassroots campaign to re-elect Aquino even if his name is not on the ballot.

The strategy would be to recruit 51 Million Filipino voters to write in Aquino’s name on the official ballot come election day. Each write-in voter will be paid an undisclosed amount from the DAP funds.

With majority of the Filipinos ‘voting’ for Aquino, the election case will certainly be brought before the Philippine Supreme Court for a decision.  Given that the average number of years for the Supreme Court to decide on cases is six years, this will delay the proclamation of a new president until 2022. In the meantime, Aquino will be acting president beyond his current six-year term.

Even if the court eventually declares a different elected president, Aquino would have already served an additonal six years as acting president.

Now if the court decides to respect the people’s write-in vote, Aquino would then have  another six years as president until 2028.

Aquino’s brilliant advisers have just taught the world how one can become a president for life without having to declare Martial Law!

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