REPUBLICANS WANT OBAMA IMPEACHED FOR WEARING A TAN-COLORED SUIT

tan suitWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The U.S. House of Representatives voted recently to authorize Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) to file a law suit against President Barack Obama for overstepping his authority and for disrespecting Congress.  This unprecedented move passed largely along party lines, with all Republicans but five voting in favor of the law suit.

The law suit alleges that Obama failed to enforce the Affordable Care Act in a timely manner, particularly the mandate on employers who do not provide health care coverage to their employees.

Republicans also want Obama impeached for abuse of authority by issuing executive orders on minimum wage, workplace pay and LGBT protections without consulting Congress.

Today, House Republicans added another charge to the law suit, chiding the president for wearing a tan-colored suit at a White House press briefing .  “This is a total disrespect for the the solemn Office of the President,” Republicans said, adding that “no other president in the history of the United States has dared to wear a light-colored suit. It is very disgraceful!” They, however, admitted Obama’s striped gray tie perfectly matched his suit.

Speaker John Boehner told reporters that the new charge only adds teeth to the law suit and said that he was confident the courts will rule in the Republicans’ favor.

The charge only mentioned the color of Obama’s suit and tie, but not the color of his belt or shoes.

 

 

 

MILLION MARCH PLANNED TO PROTEST PROPOSED PHILIPPINE LAW BANNING SELFIES

imageMakati City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – A proposed bill banning the taking of selfies in public passed on first reading in the Philippine House of Representatives, and the residents of Makati City, recenty named the selfie capital of the world, are not happy.

The proposed law is meant to discourage paparazzis and others from taking their own photos in parks and other public venues because it could possibly invade the privacy of others. The bill also aims to stop the spread of selfitis, the mental disorder associated with selfies, as declared just a few months ago by the American Psychiatric Association.

Makati Mayor Junjun Binay, son of Vice President Jejomar Binay, annouced that the local government is organizing a million people’s march to protest the proposed law. “I call upon one milllion Makati residents to unite and take to the streets on September 1st to show our national lawmakers how we feel about this infringement of our freedom,” the young Binay said, not realizing that his city only has a population of 500,000.

Binay encouraged every participant to bring their smart phones so that “at the appointed time during the march, we will all simultaneously take selfie photos. We are aiming at the Guinness World Record for the most number of selfies taken in a single venue.”

Another feather in the cap for Makati City?

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE PLACED UNDER QUARANTINE

Aquino exhibiting flu-like symptoms
Aquino exhibiting flu-like symptoms

Manila, Philippines  (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Philippine Department of Health has placed Malacañang, the presidential palace, under quarantine after President Aquino and his staff suddenly started becoming ill.

First, it was presidential spokesman Edwin Lacierda, then Aquino, then media relations undersecretary Rey Marfil.  Soon, most other staff person at the palace complained about being sick.

Department of Health Secretary Dr. Enrique Ona said that all their symptoms follow the same pattern.  First, they start sneezing then coughing.  “It’s definitely more than just the ordinary flu,” Ona said. “We had no choice but to quarantine all the occupants of the palace in the interest of public health and safety.”

Aquino and his staff began exhibiting symptoms right after they were challenged to douse themselves with a bucket of ice as part of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. “It’s better for us to err on the side of extreme caution and not accept the challenge,” Aquino said.  He didn’t say whether he and his staff were donating instead.

The Philippine government has asked the help of the World Health Organization (WHO) to help contain what seems to be a serious epidemic in Malacañang.

 

 

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