THE REAL REASON MICHAEL SAM WAS CUT BY THE ST. LOUIS RAMS

August 31, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

St. Louis, MO (The Adobo Chronicles) – American football player Michael Sam made history by being the first openly-gay player to be drafted by an NFL team. Now, he just made history by being the first openly-gay player to be cut by an NFL team.

Sam didn’t make the final cut with the St. Louis Rams so his millions of LGBT fans won’t see him in action in the upcoming NFL season.

Anti-gay and conservative groups are rejoicing over the Rams’ decision to dump Sams.

As expected, CNN Sports will have sufficient material in its broadcasts for the next three months, analyzing and overanalyzing why Sam lost his spot on the team. ESPN, Sports Illustrated, The Advocate and other media outlets will surely increase their viewership and readers just by running the headline, “Did Homophobia Ruin Michael Sam’s NFL Career?”

To put all speculation to rest, The Adobo Chronicles contacted Rams owner Stan Kroenke and asked him what the real reason was for Sam not making the final cut. He sent this one-line response in an email:

“Michael Sam was not gay enough!”

Politics

REPUBLICANS WITHDRAW IMPEACHMENT CHARGE AGAINST OBAMA

August 30, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Last week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that Republicans in Congress have voted to impeach President Barack Obama for bringing disgrace to the Office of the President. The move stemmed from Obama wearing a tan-colored suit at a White House press briefing. Republican legislators had said that no other president in U.S. history has ever worn a light-colored suit. They were one in saying that U.S. presidents should dignify the office by wearing only dark suits. tan suit

However, after photos of Presidents Reagan, George H. and George W. Bush, as well as Clinton wearing light-colored suits appeared on social media, the Republicans immediately withdrew their impeachment charge.

“We apologize for this fiasco,” Speaker John Boehner said, adding, ” our legislative staff didn’t do a good job at research. Some heads are gonna roll!”

Meanwhile, The White House responded by saying , “Wait till the Republicans discover photos of earlier U.S. presidents wearing white suits, even after Labor Day.”

Military

AT THE PHILIPPINE MILITARY ACADEMY, CADETS ARE TRAINED TO DANCE, NOT FIRE THEIR GUNS

August 29, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Baguio City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Chances are you’ve seen the viral video of Filipino prison inmates dancing en masse to Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Now it’s time for cadets at the Philippine Military Academy (PMA) – counterpart of the West Point in the U.S. – to show off their twerking skills.

As part of its well-rounded training for future officers of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, PMA makes sure that its graduates know how to shake their booties. And it takes pride in publicly showcasing this unique talent.

Instead of the usual silent drill and parade-in-review, PMA treats dignitaries and visiting audiences to its sprawling campus in Baguio City with its cadets laying down their arms and dancing to the The Wonder Girls’ Nobody and other hit tunes. The dance spectacle happens in the parade grounds directly across from a building facade emblazoned with the words, “Courage, Integrity, Loyalty.”

PMA Superintendent Major General Oscar Lopez told The Adobo Chronicles, “We don’t train our cadets to fire guns or canons. We train them to defend our country benevolently — through dance.”

President NoyNoy Aquino, their commander-in-chief, is reportedly thrilled every single time he visits PMA and is treated to the cadets’ shaking, twirling and twerking.

Here’s a video of a recent PMA parade-in-review.