CNN TO MERGE WITH SWN SATIRE SITE IN THE PHILIPPINES

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – First came the news that 9TV will become CNN Philippines in early 2015. Now, the international cable news network is reportedly in negotiations to acquire SWN (So What’s News?), a Filipino news satire site.

An unmaned CNN spokesperson told reporters that CNN is continuously looking to expand its operations around the world and is constantly searching for existing news media outlets to acquire or partner with.

“SWN’s mission statement is very consistent with what CNN is trying to accomplish in its international news operations,” the spokesperson said, adding that “like SWN, we are committed to bring positive, accurate, entertaining and timely news to our millions of customers. And just like SWN, we love to report on fiction.”

On its web site, SWN describes its product as “news that won’t make you depressed to read the news.” Critics who oppose the CNN-SWN merger pointed out that CNN’s reporting is known to make people very depressed,  “so a merger with SWN is not a wise move at all.”

SWN refused to comment because negotiations are still ongoing.

NEWLY-CROWNED MISS PHILIPPINES WILL ALSO REPRESENT GERMANY IN MISS WORLD PAGEANT

Valerie Weigmann is crowned by her predecessor Megan Youn
Valerie Weigmann is crowned by her predecessor Megan Youn

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – When Megan Young was crowned  Miss World last year, the United States claimed her as its own candidate as well. Young was born in the U.S. to an America father and Filipina mother.

History repeats itself.  This year’s newly-crowned Miss World Philippines is half Filipina and half German. Valerie Weigmann will represent the Philippines in the prestigious international beauty pageant, hoping to become the second Filipina to win the title.

Weigmann was a runaway winner. “To be honest, I would have been shocked if the TV celebrity and fashion model hadn’t won. Even during the screening for this year’s Miss World Philippines, I could see it in her stars that bearing the red and silver crown was her destiny,” said Joyce Ann Burton Titular, a former beauty queen herself who now stars in a Philippne television series about beauty pageants. Titular was the Philippines’ candidate in the 1985 Miss Universe Pageant.

Upon learning of Weigmann’s victory, Germany abruptly cancelled the 2014 contest to select its candidate for Miss World. ” We’re more than happy to have Miss Weigmann represent Germany as well ” pageant organizers said in Berlin.

The 2014 Miss World Pageant will be held December 14 in London.

We’ve heard about dual citizenships, but dual beauty queens?

SPECIAL CROSSWALK FOR DRUNKS IN SAN FRANCISCO’S CASTRO DISTRICT

imageSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Earlier this month, the City of San Francisco unveiled the rainbow crosswalk in the Castro District. The crosswalk at the intersection of Castro and 18th Streets — painted in the colors of  the gay rainbow flag — is part of the Castro redevelopment project designed to revitalize the center of gay-ness in the city.

Today, Scott Wiener, who represents the Castro district on the county board of supervisors, announced the next phase of the redevelopment project. It involves the setting up of additional crosswalks on either side of 18th Street where most of the gay bars are located.

Wiener said that the new zig-zaggy crosswalks will be for the benefit of gay drunks who crisscross 18th Street to hop from one bar to another. “Let’s face it, gay drunks can’t walk in a straight line so setting up crooked pedestrian lanes will help them cross the street without being embarrassed,” the supe said.

One crosswalk will be set up between the Toad Hall and The Edge bars and another between the Midnight Sun and SF Mix.

The new crosswalks will be ready in time for Halloween.

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