THOUSANDS OF CATHOLICS FLOCK TO CHURCHES WITH THEIR PETS AFTER PRONOUNCEMENT FROM POPE FRANCIS

pope-francis-child-1Sao Paulo, Brazil (The Adobo Chronicles) – In Brazil, Mexico, the Philippines and other Catholic countries around the world, scenarios akin to the biblical Noah’s Ark were seen in many churches today, thanks to a pronouncement by Pope Francis during his regular weekly address at St. Peter’s Square in The Vatican.

The pope said that all animals go to heaven, as he tried to comfort a little boy who was upset about the death of his pet dog.

The Catholic Church and other religious groups have always maintained that animals, unlike human beings, have no souls and as such do not have “life after death.”

Upon hearing of the pope’s announcement, Catholics around the world flocked to their churches, tagging along their pet animals — from dogs and cats, to birds and snakes.  They were one in fervent prayer that they and their furry, feathery and slimy friends will be reunited with them in heaven when they leave this mortal world.

It wasn’t even a Sunday, the traditional day of the week when Catholics attend mass and services at their churches.  Church and parish officials are reportedly bracing for overcrowding and chaos as Catholics — and their pets — attend services this coming Sunday, the third Sunday of Advent.  It will be a scenario repeated over and over in many countries in Latin America, Europe and Asia.

With close to 127 million Catholics, Brazil has more Catholics than any other country, and 11.7 percent of the world’s Catholic population. Brazil is followed by Mexico (96 million), Philippines (76 million), United States (75 million), Italy (49 million), Colombia (38 million), France (38 million), Poland (35 million), Spain (35 million) and Democratic Republic of the Congo (31 million).

NEW WORDS ADDED TO WEBSTER’S DICTIONARY, THANKS TO BAY AREA STORM

weatherSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Last month, The Adobo Chronicles  reported that  Oxford has added ‘selfitis’ to the English Dictionary after the word dominated social media for most of 2014. Selfitis is defined as “an inflammation of the ego” and refers to the obsessive compulsive desire to take photos of one’s self  and post them on social media as a way to make up for the lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy.

Today, Webster’s announced that it is adding several new words to the 2015 edition of its dictionary for the American English language, thanks to the super storm that is currently pounding on most of the San Francisco Bay Area.

The new words:  Stormaggedon, Rainpocalypse and Floodgate.

Stormaggedon and Rainpocalypse both mean the impending doom and destruction caused by a storm, typhoon or heavy rains. Floodgate (think Watergate or Irangate), a word entry that is already included in Webster’s Dictionary, takes on a new second meaning, and that is “a weather anomaly resulting in flash flood warnings that people receive on their mobile phones.”

Congratulations to the Bay Area for its great contributions to modern language!

 

WALMART WILL PAY BELOW MINIMUM WAGE BEGINNING NEXT YEAR, CEO SAYS

McMillon
McMillon

Bentonville, Arkansas (The Adobo Chronicles) – Last October, Walmart CEO Doug McMillon announced future plans regarding wages at the big box giant chain store so that no worker is paid the federally mandated minimum of $7.25 an hour.

In an interview on Wednesday morning, he appeared to have set himself a deadline of early 2015 for this change.

“We’re going to make changes in a few months that will create a situation where no Walmart associate in the United States makes federal minimum wage,” McMillon told ‘CBS This Morning’ co-host Charlie Rose in a rare, fairly wide-ranging sit-down discussion.

McMillon, who at 48 is the youngest CEO of Walmart since founder Sam Walton, agreed with Rose’s assertion that the perception of Walmart — as a low-wage, dead-end employer, doubtlessly — differs from the reality of the business he runs.

McMillon’s announcement angered thousands of Walmart associates who, along with their allies in the labor movement, have been protesting working conditions and wages at the world’s largest private employer for the last three years. “Now we’ll even be paid below the federal wage,” they said in protest.

It was, of course, a misunderstanding of what McMillon said during the interview. What he really wanted to say was that no Walmart employee will be paid the minimum wage and that instead, they will be paid above the minimum wage.

It looks like McMillon’s communications manager is  not doing a good job.

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