SAN FRANCISCO ARCHBISHOP TO CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL FACULTY AND STAFF: ‘STAY IN THE CLOSET’

San Francischo Archbishop Cardileone
San Francisco Archbishop Cordileone

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles)  –  San Francisco’s conservative Roman Catholic archbishop Salvatore Cordileone wants to break away from The Vatican and create an independent archdiocese that will have its own rules and teachings that are less welcoming and compassionate than previous pronouncements by Pope Francis.

Earlier this week, Cordileone issued a document which was incorporated in the faculty and staff handbook of Catholic high schools in the archdiocese of San Francisco.  The archbishop categorically said that sex outside of marriage, homosexual relations, the viewing of pornography and masturbation are ‘gravely evil,’ and ordered that faculty and staff not only teach these precepts but also practice it in their public and private lives.

The document applies to faculty and staff at four Catholic high schools: Riordan and Sacred Heart in San Francisco, Marin Catholic in Kentfield and Serra High School in San Mateo. It goes on to say that marriage is between “one man and one woman,” despite California law allowing same-sex marriages. It also notes that sperm donation, the use of a surrogate and other forms of “artificial reproductive technology” are also gravely evil.

In effect, the archbishop ruled that LGBT school administrators, faculty and staff must stay in the closet, act ‘straight’ in public and pursue a celibate private life. He also ruled that they cannot participate in or watch the city’s annual pride parade, Folsom Street Fair, and Castro Street Fair. If they happen to be Republican, they cannot make any political or charitable contributions to the Log Cabin Republicans, the LGBT caucus of the GOP. They also must not attend any gay weddings.

For straight faculty and staff, they will be prohibited from using condoms and other birth control methods . They will be required to state their agreement to this rule in a notarized affidavit to be included in their employment records.

Violators of the archbishop’s rules will be immediately fired from their jobs and be excommunicated from the Catholic Church, with or without the approval from The Vatican.

THE WHITEWASHING OF LOUISIANA GOVERNOR BOBBY JINDAL

Bobby Jindal, the Caucasion, left, and Bobby Jindal, the Person of color
Bobby Jindal, the Caucasian, left, and Bobby Jindal, the Person of color

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Republicans seem to have a problem with their skin color.

House Speaker John Boehner continues to amaze his colleagues, constituents and the media about his year-round orange tan.  During the last State of Union Address, images of Boehner showed him darker than Vice President Joe Biden and,  yes, even President Obama.

Now the spotlight turns to Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, an Indian American, whose “official” portrait shows him in an elegant pose, albeit  with a whitewashed skin.

Many political pundits are speculating that the whitewashed portrait will serve as the official campaign image when Jindal makes a bid for the Republican presidential nomination for the 2016 elections.

A South Asian surname and a white photograph would be a perfect combination to lure both mainstream voters and the emerging minority voting block.  What a brilliant strategy!

 

CNN FIRES ANCHOR DON LEMON OVER SELFIE

imageATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – A half-naked Don Lemon, news anchor at CNN, took a selfie and posted it on social media. He was immediately fired by CNN.

Many saw it coming. Lemon has earned a controversial reputation as news anchor, asking African American kids to pull up their pants, suggesting the missing Malaysia Airlines plane was kidnapped by a higher power, and asking a Muslim guest on his show if he supported ISIS.  Oh, and did we mention he smelled marijuana while covering the Ferguson protests?

Today, Lemon posted a photo of his half-naked body on his Twitter account showing his scar from the measles vaccination he got as a child. It was meant to promote his prime-time show in which he invited medical experts to discuss the growing controversy over child vaccinations.

CNN, in a prepared statement, said Lemon was fired not because of his half-naked selfie, but for showing his scar from his measles vaccination.

There was a big problem with Lemon’s tweet. Measles shots do not leave scars. Lemon’s scar was from his smallpox vaccination.

 

 

 

 

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