AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY IN THE U.S. NOW STANDS AT 112!

Photo credit: tampabay.com
Photo credit: tampabay.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – For many decades, Japan has topped the list of countries with the highest life expectancy among the population, with an average of 84 years. The worldwide average is 71 years (68 for males and 73 for females).  The United States’ life expectancy has been known to average at  79.

But official records at the U.S. Social Security Administration show that life expectancy among Americans has been grossly miscalculated.

A recent review found that at least 6.5 million active Social Security numbers belong to people who are at least 112 years old, according to a report by The Washington Post. Thousands of workers over the age of 100 applied for employment verification through the U.S. government in recent years, the report added.

Previously, it has been estimated that less than half a million people worldwide are centenarians, or people still living at the age of 100 and above.

Population experts surmise that the the significant rise in American life expectancy could be due to a better and  more modern health care system,  increased calorie consciousness among the population (resulting from dietary labels on food packages as required by law), and the growing popularity of Zumba dance exercise among senior citizens.

Can we propose a toast of red wine to longer life for all?

 

 

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER, 47 SENATE REPUBLICANS FACE IMPEACHMENT

Photo Credit: legalzoom.com
Photo Credit: legalzoom.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – House Speaker John Boehner and 47 Senate Republicans face impeachment charges for undermining the separation of powers provision of the U.S. Constitution and for actions that have all the trimmings of the ultimate crime of treason.

The impeachment charges stem from Boehner’s invitation to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to speak before a join session of Congress (without informing the President) which was tantamount to usurping the powers of the Executive Branch and the State Department, and the recent open letter signed by the 47 Republican senators warning the Iranian government that any nuclear agreement with President Obama will not hold.

The impeachment charges will be brought forth  before and voted upon by the House of Representatives and subsequently tried in the Senate. The impeachment could spell the total downfall of the Republican Party.  It could also easily hand the next presidency to the Democratic nominee (presumably Hillary Clinton) since several of the Republican presidential aspirants are among the signatories to the Iran letter.

Never in the history of the United States has impeachment been brought forth before so many politicians all at the  same time.

Well, there is a first time for everything.

PACQUIAO AND MAYWEATHER WILL BOTH BE INJECTED WITH ANESTHETIC DRUG DURING MAY 2 FIGHT

1724522_1391292644467128_1219828704_nLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – For a long time, Floyd Mayweather had accused Manny Pacquiao of using performance-enhancing drugs, making this his primary reason for not agreeing to fight the Filipino champion boxer in what many consider to be the “fight of the century.”

Now that the deal has been sealed for the two boxers to meet at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on May 2 this year, the same drug accusation has come around to haunt Mayweather.

It has been rumored that the American boxer injects his hands with a dubious substance called Xylocaine during training and bouts.  This substance, which has a numbing effect, is banned in most states, and the reason Mayweather only boxes in Nevada is that it is the only state where the anesthetic drug is not banned in sports.

Because it is not a banned substance in Las Vegas, the Pacquiao camp can do nothing about it.  Besides, the boxing deal has been signed, and there’s no backing out.

So, as a compromise, the Pacquiao camp has demanded that both boxers will be injected with Xylocaine on the night of the fight, to which the Mayweather camp readily agreed.

Boxing fans, rejoice.  The fight of the century is still on. And it’s fair and square! And clean (well, sort of).

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