Politics, Religion, Social Media, The Media

The Idiotic, Irrelevant SMNI News

September 12, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Once heralded as the bastion of truth and fairness, SMNI News has devolved into a tabloid circus, covering such hard-hitting stories as “Plants Weep for Quiboloy” and “Clouds Form Halo Over ‘Appointed Son of God’s’ Compound.”

Gone are the days of factual reporting; instead, viewers are treated to sermon-turned-news segments where flowers allegedly wail in mourning for their dear leader’s capture. SMNI’s fall from grace, losing its franchise and retreating to the murky corners of social media, is as predictable as it is tragic. Once a network of promise, it now broadcasts propaganda, defending Apollo Quiboloy with religious zeal.

But really, who needs journalistic integrity when you can have exclusive coverage of houseplants suffering religious persecution? As SMNI clings to relevance, one can only wonder—will the Kingdom’s shrubs and bushes testify on Quiboloy’s behalf during his trial? Stay tuned for breaking news—if you can find it.

Pantaleon Alvarez, Heir Apparent To Pastor Apollo Quiboloy?

September 12, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Pantaleon Alvarez, once a beacon of legislative order, now seems to have found his next calling: the nation’s doomsday prophet. His new prophecy? The Philippines will crumble if VP Sara Duterte gets impeached. Move over, Apollo Quiboloy!

Forget climate change or global pandemics—the real threat is clearly political accountability. Channeling the apocalyptic energy of the now-incarcerated KJoC pastor, Alvarez has stepped into the limelight with fire and brimstone rhetoric.

Of course, he’s counting on the 32 million who voted for Sara, blissfully ignoring that 31 million of those also supported Bongbong Marcos. Convenient, right? But who’s keeping track?

One can only imagine the fiery sermons to come, where political loyalty is akin to salvation, and impeachment spells the end of days.

A Physician-Turned-Blogger’s Idea Of “Subtlety”

September 11, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

By Melchor Vergara

Ah, the physician-turned-blogger’s lesson on “subtlety”—it’s like getting dietary advice from someone who lives off fast food.

She claims the current government is engaging in covert harassment, a far cry from the glory days of her idol, the former president. You know, the guy who skipped subtlety altogether and went straight for overt, no-nonsense “management” of critics, dissenters and violators of his hard-line policies. Ah, those were the days! No need to read between the lines—he’d just tell you outright that he’d love to throw you in jail (or worse). Unfortunately, there was collateral damage, nay, innocent victims.

EJK, Kian de los Santos, the Parojinogs come to mind.

Now, we’re stuck with this sneaky oppression that’s *gasp*…hard to prove! Maybe she misses the simplicity of a time when being a critic meant wearing a metaphorical (or actual) target on your back. The new subtlety clearly lacks the in-your-face flair of, say, a televised threat. It’s almost like democracy’s trying to act polite. How inconvenient for those craving a little old-school, strongman charm!