Government, Legislation, Politics, Social Media

Scripted Sara

September 11, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

It is truly a marvel of investigative prowess that Vice President Sara Duterte was able to unearth the House members’ use of a script during the first OVP budget hearing. Surely, this revelation could only have been uncovered with the deft deployment of confidential funds—who knew such resources could be so…insightful?

Yet, there’s a delicious irony here: the same VP who pointed fingers at the scripted members of Congress was herself glued to her smartphone, reading her own script. Not just once, but several times. And to think, it was a very short script, one that she couldn’t even memorize.

Perhaps the next tranche of confidential funds could be allocated to memory training? It’s fascinating to witness such a masterclass in deflection, where the pot doesn’t just call the kettle black—it reads from its smartphone to make sure the accusation lands perfectly.

Philippines: The Rise Of Dutertocracy

September 10, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Ah, the Dutertocracy – where governance takes a backseat to cursing, kissing women on stage, and punching sheriffs. In this thrilling new political genre, we witness the evolution of “public service,” where bravado is king, and tact is just for the weak. It’s a family affair, of course. Like father, like children: Sara with her strong-arm mayoral tactics, Paolo with his murky financial dealings, and Baste, well, he’s still figuring out which part of the script he plays.

But the real gem here? The Dutertes’ unwavering belief that the rules don’t apply to them. Why should they? After all, they’ve perfected their oligarchic rule in Davao, and clearly, what works in one city must work for the entire country, right? Laws? Just suggestions. Checks and balances? Mere inconveniences. Welcome to the Philippines’ latest political dynasty – where accountability is optional, and audacity is the new leadership style.

Chooks-To-Go: Jay Sonza, Atty. Mark Tolentino Fall For Fiction!

September 10, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

In a stunning turn of events, Chooks-To-Go has found itself at the center of a “poultry” scandal, labeled “bastos” (ill-mannered) by former broadcaster-turned-blogger Jay Sonza. The outrage stemmed from the chain’s audacious move to feature a character eerily resembling the illustrious Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, now somewhat preoccupied with legal matters, in a cheeky chicken promo.

Atty. Mark Tolentino, the flamboyant lawyer and Duterte supporter, even threw in the towel, calling for a full-scale boycott and warning of a possible cybercrime charge. Because, apparently, chicken and satire now fall under the dark web’s jurisdiction.

What Sonza and Tolentino missed, though, was the ever-present, all-forgiving disclaimer: “All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

Come on, guys—haven’t we learned anything from all those Hollywood films? The cap worn by the character in the promo doesn’t even match Quiboloy’s in his iconic arrest mugshot. In the grand court of logic, Chooks-To-Go might have just roasted their critics on a spit, with a side of gravy.

Case closed! Time to order a bucket of chicken, because the only crime here is how irresistible it tastes.