Category Archives: The Media

CNN HIRES KIM KARDASHIAN FOR PRIME TIME

Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian

Atlanta, Georgia –  After almost a year of tinkering, CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker has concluded that a news channel cannot subsist on news alone. So he is planning much broader changes for the network—including a prime-time shakeup that’s likely to make CNN traditionalists cringe.

In the first of what was expected to be a series of announcements on new programming, Zucker – who admits his name sounds like “hooker,”  revealed that CNN has signed a 3-year contract with reality TV personality Kim Kardashian to anchor a prime time hour-long show titled “KKG 24/7.” Kardasian will discuss with invited pundits the latest gossip in politics, entertainment and world events.” “KKG” is the acronym for Kim Kardashian Gossip.

“KKG 24/7” will reportedly replace Anderson Cooper’s “AC 360.” It isn’t known whether “AC 360” will go off the air.

Last month, The Adobo Chronicles reported that Cooper has been nominated by President Obama to be the next U.S. ambassador to the Philippines, after his outstanding live coverage of the aftermath of Typhoon Haiyan. Now that Cooper has been bumped off CNN, will he finally become Ambassador Cooper?

WHITE HOUSE GIVES THE ADOBO CHRONICLES UNCONDITIONAL PRESS ACCREDITATION

President Obama at a White House press briefing (file photo)
President Obama at a White House press briefing (file photo)

Washington, D.C. – While the rest of the Fourth Estate are up in arms over what they call the Obama administration’s attempt to stifle their First Amendment rights, The Adobo Chronicles today was granted full, unconditional access to all White House meetings, press briefings, private audiences with the President and a 24-access to all rooms except the Presidential bedroom.

This unprecedented accreditation comes on the heels of complaints by American media over the Obama administration’s not-so-covert efforts to trace, identify and punish confidential sources of news media reports, including whistleblowers.  Very recently, photojournalists were restricted on which White House events they can shoot. The White House, however, said it will provide the news media with copies of official photographs taken by the administration’s own photographers.  News media associations described this new policy as “The White House distributing press releases for newsrooms to publish or disseminate.”

Since its founding in June of this year, The  Adobo Chronicles has been gaining worldwide popularity, with its website recording an average of 1 Million hits per month, and counting. International publications like The International Business Times and The Latin Times have recently relied on The Adobo Chronicles as a credible source for their own stories, especially with regards to beauty pageants and the aftermath of the Haiyan typhoon in the Philippines.  Also, it was The Adobo Chronicles that broke the stories about CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s appointment as new ambassador to the Philippines and the state of California’s proposal to totally ban lechon (Filipino roasted pig), roasted duck and boiled crab.

At the last White House press briefing, President Obama welcomed The Adobo Chronicles, describing it as the media’s “new beacon of light.”

TEA PARTY PROPOSES LEGISLATION TO OUTLAW POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

imageWashington D.C. – The Washington Redskins.  Sushi chef Halloween costume. A Michigan-based punk band named Crucifucks. And now, Katy Perry’s American Music Awards performance. The Tea Party has had it. It thinks political correctness in the U.S. has gone over the top.

At an emergency meeting this morning, the Tea Party faction of the Republican Party proposed a legislation that would permanently outlaw any form of political correctness in this country. “We need to banish ‘PC’ from the face of the earth,” a Tea Party statement said, adding that ” political correctness is bad for business and is inconsistent with the American mantra of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Can anyone ever have free speech?”

The last straw for the Tea Party legislators came last night after the televised opening number by Katy Perry at the American Music Awards. She performed the song “Unconditionally” dressed in traditional Geisha dress — except for the slits– surrounded by similarly -clad dancers waving  giant fans and twirling paper umbrellas.

Twitterworld was immediately bombarded with cries of “racism” and “utter insensitivity.” Not all comments were negative, though. One Japanese twitterer said, “I am not offended.  In fact I am honored! Katy loves Japan and the Japanese people love her.”

The proposed legislation is scheduled to be filed when Congress reconvenes after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. This gives everyone one last chance to post or tweet offensive turkey jokes.