Category Archives: The Media

Health & Medicine, International, The Media

U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION APPROVES NEW PILLS TO CURE SELFITIS

August 4, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The. U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced the approval of a new pill that would cure selfitis, the obsessive-compulsive urge to take photos of one’s self and posting them on social media.

Recently, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) officially classified selfie-taking as a mental disorder with three levels of the disease: borderline, acute and chronic.

The FDA announcement unveiled three color-coded pills that doctors can prescribe to their patients: green for borderline, blue for acute and red for chronic selfitis. In clinical trials conducted prior to the FDA approval, the pills showed an efficacy rate of plus or minus three percent.

The new pills are similar to FDA-approved drugs that fall under the category of SSRI, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, used to treat depression and anxiety. The new pills’ manufacturer, Actavis which recently acquired Forest Laboratories, said the new drug will be marketed under the brand name selpram . Forest Laboratories owns the brand name Celexa (citalopram) which is prescribed for depression.

The FDA announcement came as a huge relief to selfie addicts, a population that has grown to almost 1 Billion worldwide. Equally, Facebook and Instagram users will be spared from the agony of having to deal with their friends’ selfies all too frequently posted on their walls.

Selpram will be available in the market starting this fall.

Film and TV, Politics, The Media

REVEALED: SARAH PALIN ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION

July 30, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Denver, Colorado (Exclusive to The Adobo Chronicles) – Many people know about Sarah Palin’s recent speech in Denver, ranting for more than 30 minutes about impeaching President Barack Obama. But very few people know that the former vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor was arrested for public intoxication.

Palin was guest speaker at the Western Conservative Summit. Apparently, she flew into Denver the same day and was reportedly anxious about the turbulence on the approach to the Denver airport. A flight attendant said that Palin had ordered several shots of tequila as a way to calm her nerves.

Upon arrival in Denver, she was picked up at the airport by a limousine driver who was to take her to the site of the summit. Along the way, she made one brief stop at a marijuana retail shop a few miles from the airport.

She received a warm welcome from the summit organizers who offered her not one, not two, but three glasses of chardonnay. Then it was time for her to deliver her speech. One observer described her drunken speech as lacking in substance and full of Tea Party talking points that sounded like excepts from a poetry slam competition.

One audience member called the Denver police to complain about Palin’s drunken behavior which led to her arrest for public intoxication. The police report indicated that in addition to her blood alcohol level which was three times the legal limit, she was also high on drugs. That explained her brief stop on her way to her speaking engagement.

Denver police, however, said that she was only charged and arrested for public intoxication and not for being under the influence of controlled substance because, as most everyone knows, the state of Colorado has now legalized the recreational use of marijuana.

Palin was released 5 hours later after posting bail and sobering up.

For our readers who are curious and at the same time patient enough to listen to Palin’s drunken speech, here it is in its entirety:

Human Interest, International, Technology, The Media, Tourism

PHILIPPINES BAGS ANOTHER WORLD RECORD: TWEET CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

July 30, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Philippines is unstoppable in laying claim to world records, and this nation of 100 Million people just added another feather to its cap.

First, the country was declared selfie capital of the world, particularly Makati City, recording the highest (per capita) number of selfies posted on social media.

Just last weekend, the Philippine Arena with a capacity of 60,000 was inaugurated. It is now considered the world’s largest indoor arena, putting to shame Los Angeles’ Staples Center and New York’s Madison Square Garden.

On Monday, the Philippines broke another world record and was named the Tweet Capital of the World.

Twitter records show that worldwide, people send an average of 500 Million tweets a day.

On Monday, Twitter recorded 1 Billion tweets in the Philippines alone, twice the worldwide daily numbers. Monday, of course, was the day that President NoyNoy Aquino delivered his 5th State of the Nation Address (SONA).

Filipinos were tweeting at a rate of one per five minutes, commenting on Aquino’s almost two-hour rambling as well as critiquing the gowns worn on the red carpet by lady senators, congressmen, spouses and SONA guests. Even senators, congressmen and government officials were caught on camera, tweeting away while inside the Assembly Hall, oblivious of the man at the podium they have come to listen to.

We say again, ‘It’s More Fun in the Philippines!’