Category Archives: Sports

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS DECLARE WAR ON BEHALF OF THE PHILIPPINES

111813_NFL2Seattle, Washington – The Seattle Seahawks, one of U.S. National Football League teams favored to advance into this season’s Super Bowl, chalked up their 10th win last Sunday as it defeated the Minnesota Vikings. But that was not the headline.

Seahawks  player Doug Baldwin, who is part Filipino, carried the Philippine flag as his team entered the football stadium.  By doing so, the Seahawks all but declared war on behalf of the typhoon-ravaged country. The four-color Philippine flag has a red stripe and a blue stripe.  During peace time, the flag is always carried or displayed with the blue stripe on top.  The red stripe on top signals that the country has declared or is at war.  Baldwin carried the flag with the red stripe on top.

The Seahawks explained that the Philippines is “fighting the devastation of Haiyan which has been worse than many war-torn regions of the world.” Many thought the explanation was lame and undiplomatic.

To make amends, the team signed a pledge that it will send all its players to the Philippines to fight alongside that country’s army should it be involved in any military war now or in the future.  But the ever-forgiving Filipinos suggested instead that the Seahawks send its entire team to Tacloban City to help with relief and reconstruction efforts immediately after the Super Bowl. That is, assuming the team will make it to the Super Bowl.

MAJOR SPORTS LEAGUES ISSUE GUIDELINES FOR SINGERS AT GAMES

imageSanta Clara, California –  America’s three major sports leagues have jointly issued guidelines for singers invited to sing the “Star-Spangled Banner,” or “God Bless America” during sports events.  Meeting in Santa Clara, California, future home of the San Francisco 49ers, the National Football League, National Basketball Association and Major League Baseball all agreed to strictly abide by the new rules.

The rules were drawn up following recent controversies that involved Latino singers invited to sing at major sports events: 11-year old Mariachi singer Sebastien De La Cruz and Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband Marc Anthony. image

De La Cruz sang the U.S. National Anthem at Game 3 of the NBA playoff series between the San Antonio Spurs and Miami Heat while Anthony sang “God Bless America” at an All-Star Major League Baseball game.  Both performances were condemned by U.S. nationalists for what they called “singing American while being Latino.”  Both singers, of course, are U.S. citizens and are as American as apple pie.

In crafting the new guidelines, the major leagues wanted to make sure that they are not perceived as being racists, so they proposed a basic, core language for the guidelines, as follows:

“Any singer who rolls his or her ‘Rs’ will not be allowed to perform at the games.”

The Union representing singers and performers immediately sent a memo to all its members advising them to practice saying and singing the words, “America,” “Broad Stripes and Bright Stars,”  “Perilous Fight,” “ramparts ”  etc.  and to do so with a “twang.”

NBA HALL OF FAMER DENNIS RODMAN WILL JUDGE IN THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT

rodmanLas Vegas, Nevada – The Miss Universe Organization has announced that NBA Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman  will be among the celebrity judges at the forthcoming Miss Universe Pageant to be held in Moscow, Russia.  The famous basketball player, who most recently shocked the world by his personal meeting with North Korean president Kim Jong Eun, will be the first-ever crossdresser to judge the pageant.  Pageant officials requested that Rodman come dressed as a woman.

The announcement came just days after American television host Andy Cohen said that he was not going to fulfill his duties this year as co-emcee of the pageant, because of the anti-gay laws recently passed in Russia.  Cohen is openly gay.

Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe Pageant said that since the organization has recently allowed transgender contestants to participate in the pageant, it just makes sense to also have a crossdresser as a member of the judging panel.

Rodman has not returned calls from The Adobo Chronicles which wanted to find out who is designing the NBA star’s gown for the final night telecast. dennis-rodman

Russian officials were silent on the issue of whether Rodman will be subject to arrest if he attends the pageant dressed as a woman.