Category Archives: Religion

Duterte To Establish Own Church; Philippine Catholic Bishops Very Worried

IMG_8073.PNGDAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – President Duterte yesterday told Filipinos not to believe Catholic priests and urged them to join the “Iglesia ni Duterte,” a religion he would establish where there are no prohibitions and no Sunday collections.

Duterte blasted the Catholic Church after the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) and other churches launched photo exhibits of alleged summary killings under the president’s war on drugs.

The Catholic Church has been critical of Duterte’s drug war, which it says is marked by summary killings and human rights violations.

As millions of Filipinos warmed up to the idea of an “Iglesia ni Duterte,” the CBCP issued a pastoral letter that will be read next Sunday in all churches in the country.

The CBCP appealed to Catholic Filipinos to think twice before joining Duterte’s church.  Its greatest worry is the potential loss of revenue from Sunday collections.

The CBCP is among the biggest investors in the Philippine Stock Exchange.


Under His Presidency, Trump Will Outlaw Hanukkah, Kwanzaa

IMG_7867.PNGWASHINGTON, D.C (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – When Donald Trump said last week that we “can say Merry Christmas again,” it seems he really meant it.  But sources close to his son Donald, Jr., told The Adobo Chronicles that the president-elect has a more elaborate plan on reviving and preserving White Christmas.

We were told that as president, Trump would outlaw other holidays usually observed and celebrated at about the same time as Christmas.  Yup, he’s talking about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Hanukkah celebrates faith and resistance against oppression and is observed mostly in the Jewish community.

Kwanzaa is Swahili which means “first fruits.” Celebratated mostly in the African American community, Kwanzaa focuses on faith, creativity and working together to solve problems and improve society.

A spokesperson for Donald Jr. said that his father’s plan comes altogether, perfectly — all aimed at his campaign promise to “make America White again.”

You get who you vote for.  Say “Happy Holidays” one last time.

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As President, Donald Trump Will Ban ‘Happy Hanukkah,’Happy Kwanzaa’ And ‘Maligayang Pasko’

IMG_7585.PNGNEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – President-elect Donald Trump today reiterated his intention to bring back the greeting ‘Merry Christmas,’ one of his many campaign promises.

Waging his war on political correctness, Trump said that beginning next year, he will ban greetings like ‘Happy Hanukkah,’ ‘Happy Kwanzaa,’ and ‘Maligayang Pasko.’

Although ‘Maligayang Pasko’ is merely a Filipino (Tagalog) translation of ‘Merry Christmas,’ Trump said, “Still, if you’re in America, do as the Americans do. Speak English.”

So to our Filipino readers in America, we say — for the last time — Maligayang Pasko!

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