Category Archives: Politics

Chiz Escudero Appoints Himself Designated Survivor!

In an unexpected twist, Senate President Chiz Escudero has declared himself the designated survivor, minutes after Vice President Sara Duterte’s departure for Germany.

“It doesn’t matter that I am already second in line in the presidential succession per the Constitution,” Escudero stated confidently. He further elaborated, “I am just following the good example of Duterte to make sure we got all bases covered just in case.”

Sources close to Escudero reported that he has already begun drafting emergency speeches and practicing his best stoic expressions.

Political analysts are baffled by this move, with some speculating that Escudero is merely ensuring his name stays in the headlines.

Meanwhile, President Marcos Jr., seemingly amused by the turn of events, has reportedly ordered some special popcorn to enjoy the ensuing drama.

The nation watches in anticipation, wondering what other innovative constitutional interpretations might emerge from the Senate next.

Sara Duterte Does A BINI

In a dramatic twist of fate, the girl group BINI found themselves under fire for obscuring their faces upon arriving at a local airport. Leading the charge was OVP worker and blogger Tio Moreno, whose relentless tirades painted the girls as villains in the latest airport drama.

Ironically, his boss VP Sara Duterte pulled a BINI herself when she jetted off to Germany amidst the chaos of Typhoon Carina.

Caught on camera, Duterte sported a face mask and a hooded sweater, missing only the “S” emblazoned on her chest – “S” for “Shukran!”

Was it a fashion statement, or a desperate attempt to blend in with the crowd?

As the nation recovers from the storm, we can only wonder if VP Sara will return donning a new persona, or if Tio Moreno will start his own line of face-obscuring gear. Either way, it seems the art of hiding one’s face is trending this season!