Category Archives: International

Centers For Disease Control Investigating Cases Of Trump-Related Panic Attack Disorder

image.jpegATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles, Miami Bureau) – The U.S.  Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is now investigating hundreds of reported cases of panic attack disorder which seems to be reaching pandemic proportions in the country.

Based on emergency room admissions in the last few months, the CDC is analyzing cases where patients presenting themselves to hospitals and clinics manifest a common pattern.

The cases start with individuals feeling dizzy, followed by escalation of blood pressure, heart palpitations and vision problems.  Others have complained about shortness of breath.

An analysis of ER cases seems to indicate that 98 percent of patients are Democrats, fearful that Republican candidate Donald Trump will win over Hillary Clinton in the November presidential elections.

Many of the patients admitted to the ER have complained that their symptoms began when they read Nate Silver’s predictions that the presidential race is either tied or is leaning towards a Trump victory.

Patients have been advised to sign up for meditation classes or anxiety and panic support groups, preferably with other patients who are self-confessed Democrats.

CNN’s chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta is said to be preparing for an exclusive investigative series on this new phenomenon which is expected to air the day before the first presidential debate next week between Clinton and Trump.

 

Obama: When I Step Down, I Want To Be Like Duterte

image.jpegWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Doris Kearns Goodwin has a great new interview with President Obama in Vanity Fair. In the wide-ranging interview, Obama hinted that once he steps down, he will start speaking out more like an activist than a president.  Like Philippine President Rodrigo Roa Duterte, he will stop being “polite.”

This explains why the U.S. President said he was not offended when Duterte allegedly called him a “Son of a whore” prior to their meeting at the recent ASEAN summit in Laos.

Make way for the real Obama!

 

 

Time Magazine, New York Times Hacked!

image.jpegNEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Now it can be told: two of America’s vanguards of truth and fairness — TIME magazine and The New York Times — were hacked by still unknown elements.

This revelation came days after both media outlets ran pieces on the alleged extra-judicial killings under the Philippines’ Duterte administration. Both were critical of President Duterte’s war on drugs and painted an entire nation reeling from widespread lawlessness and fear.

TIME’s cover story depicted armageddon in the Philippines when nightfall arrives.  The NYT piece was a video interview of a Senate hearing witness who claimed to be a member of the so-called Davao Death Squad under then Mayor Duterte. (The witness’ testimony has in recent days been crumbling under cross-examination by Philippine senators.)

The news organizations claimed that their “stories” were not written or produced by them.  Rather, they said that someone somewhere hacked their computer systems and published/posted the embarrassingly one-sided and factless pieces.

“If it truly came from us, we would have presented both sides of the story in accordance with our commitment to objectivity, truth and fairness.

“This is so not like TIME or New York Times,” they said.

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