Category Archives: Health & Medicine

Trump, Clinton Will Be Hooked To Polygraph Machine During Final Debate

IMG_6390.PNGPORTSMOUTH, New Hamphire (The Adobo Chronicles, Washinton Bureau) – Upping his criticism of Hillary Clinton’s debate performances, Donald Trump suggested on Saturday that his opponent had been on drugs during their second debate.

“I think we should take a drug test prior to the debate,” Mr. Trump told a crowd of thousands gathered at an event in Portsmouth.

“We should take a drug test prior, because I don’t know what’s going on with her. But at the beginning of her last debate — she was all pumped up at the beginning, and at the end it was like, ‘Oh, take me down.’ She could barely reach her car, ” the Republican candidate said.

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, Clinton said that she had accepted Trump’s challenge and both will undergo a drug test an hour before the start of the third and final presidential debate scheduled for October 19 at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas.

But Clinton said she had one condition: that throughout the entire televised debate, both candidates will be hooked up to a polygraph machine, otherwise known as a lie-detector machine. Every time a candidate mentions a lie, a buzzer will sound, alerting the moderator as well as the live and television audience about the non-truth.  The Trump campaign agreed, albeit hesitantly.

The Commission on Presidential Debates welcomed the proposal and is considering making the polygraph a permanent feature of all future major political debates.

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Wikileaks: Trump’s Medical Condition Revealed

IMG_6279.PNGSTOCKHOLM, Sweden (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) – Who would have thought that there could be anything more damaging  to Donald Trump than the explosive audio tape in which he is heard bragging about kissing and groping women?  Well, there is.

The Sweden-based Wikileaks today released a document which apparently confirms a rare medical condition with which the Republican presidential candidate was diagnosed more than 10 years ago.

The document, a certification from Trump’s personal physician, shows that he is suffering from psychosinusitis-XL. There are only about three hundred people worldwide suffering from this condition.

Psychosinusitis-XL is a mental condition which affects a person’s brain. It alters the normal function which allows a person to determine right from wrong, truth from falsehood and childhood vs. adulthood.  The illness manifests itself through the sinuses — the reason it is called psychosinusitis.

Now we know the reason for that constant sniffling we’ve seen and heard from Trump in the last two presidential debates.

CNN’s chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta told The Adobo Chronicles that the sinus infection itself is benign but the mental condition is malignant.

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Coca-Cola Says Its Soda Pop Is Nothing But Rebottled Pepsi

IMG_6055.PNGATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles, Miami Bureau) – You’re either a Pepsi person or a Coke person.

The stiff competition between the two soft drink giants has been going on for ages and they have amassed their respective loyal fans who constantly root for their preferred soda pop.

So when Pepsico recently admitted that Aquafina, the bottled water it has been marketing contains nothing but tap water, Coke fans rejoiced and claimed victory.

But not so fast.

Today, Coca-Cola, under extreme pressure from Freedom of Information (FOI) advocates, admitted that its carbonated soda is nothing  but rebottled Pepsi.

Is it any wonder that in taste test after taste test, soft drink consumers can’t tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi?

So, what’s next?

Consumer advocates are now pursuing an investigation on rumors that Colgate toothpaste is the same as Crest toothpaste. Just a different marketing label.

Long live capitalism!

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