Honolulu, Hawaii – A visit to Hawaii is never complete without having a snack or meal of spam sushi. This Japanese cuisine-inspired delicacy is a mainstay in local restaurant menus as well as in the refrigerated sections of every ABC Store.
In the last week, however, spam sushi has all but disappeared in Waikiki and elsewhere in the Hawaiian islands. Even McDonald’s has run out of its spam inventory and scrapped the island breakfast combo of eggs, spam and rice from its menu board.
Investigation conducted by local authorities revealed that there has been some hoarding going on, instigated by a particular group of Hawaii visitors. Pressed by The Adobo Chronicles to identify the “hoarders,” one local official – on condition of anonymity – said: “secret service agents and journalists” accompaning President Barack Obama who is currently vacationing in Hawaii with the first family and first dog, Bo.
Officials are also investigating reports that the shortage is further aggravated by Filipinos going home for the holidays with balikbayan boxes loaded with cans of spam purchased from Costco and other warehouse stores in the islands.
Local merchants have sent urgent messages to Hormel Foods, makers of spam, to airlift several thousand cases of canned spam from its Minnesota headquarters to Hawaii.
Honolulu, Hawaii – Forget the image of the controversial handshake between U.S. President Barack Obama and Cuban leader Raul Castro during the memorial celebration for the late Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, South Africa. Or that of the beer diplomacy at the White House involving Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Cambridge police chief James Crowley. Google it if you have no idea what we’re talking about.
The big news today was the unexpected meeting between Obama and Sarah Palin who are both vacationing in Hawaii.
No visit to Honolulu is ever complete without stopping by Leonard’s Bakery to pick up a box of malasadas, those warm pastries resembling donut holes rolled in sugar.
Apparently, malasadas are a favorite of the political rivals, and they happened to stop by Leonard’s tonight at the same time. At first, both felt very uncomfortable at the unexpected meeting, but after they both got their orders, they felt the spirit of aloha and shook hands.
Members of the press corps accompanying the president (including our star reporter at The Adobo Chronicles) were shocked at what they saw, but conceded that everything they witnessed was all because of the holiday atmosphere that’s been spreading uncontrollably in the Rainbow State.
Washington, D.C. – The White House announced today that President and Mrs. Obama have decided to hire Forest Whitaker to be the head butler for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Whitaker is the actor who played the role of real-life butler Eugene Allen who served eight American presidents in the Hollywood film by Lee Daniels.
The White House announcement came shortly after the nominations for the 2014 Golden Globes were announced by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA). Many were shocked that Whitaker was not nominated for Best Actor. In fact, the Lee Daniels’ film did not receive a single nomination. Earlier, however, Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey and the ensemble cast of The Butler were nominated by the Screen Actors’ Guild (SAG) for its 2014 awards.
The Adobo Chronicles learned that Michelle Obama was so distressed by the Golden Globes’ snub of Whitaker that she pressured the president to offer the all-important White House job to the actor as a way of getting back at the HFPA.
Whitaker gladly accepted the offer, saying that he hopes to serve under another eight U.S. presidents. The Obamas reportedly agreed to have Whitaker continue to make films as long as his film schedule doesn’t conflict with state banquets at The White House.