San Francisco, California – San Francisco’s Gay Pride Parade, the largest such celebration in the world, has just identified its Grand Marshall for 2014. It’s no other than Arizona Governor Jan Brewer.
The SF Pride Committee met in an executive session today following Brewer’s announcement that she was vetoing Arizona’s Senate Bill 1062 which would have legalized discrimination against lgbt people on the grounds of religious rights.
Soon after she vetoed the bill, U.S. media outlets – recovering from a slow news day today – flashed the news report on their websites, news alerts and live broadcasts. The social media also burst with posts, even among self-identified gay men and women, praising Brewer for her act of courage.
The Pride Committee said that no other act by an individual merits the honor of being named Grand Marshall . “We might even double the parade attendance by the potential of Arizona residents coming to San Francisco in June to support their well-loved governor,” the committee said.
Upon hearing about the Pride Committee’s decision, the National Coalition of Gay Immigrant Associations ( NCGIA) annouunced that it will boycott the SF Pride Parade this year, citing Brewer’s anti-immigrant record. She signed into law Arizona’s SB 1070, the most stringent anti-immigrant law in the country.
East Rutherford, New Jersey – The Denver Broncos thought they had it in the bag, until their devastating Sunday night loss to the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl 48. After all, 2014 is the Year of the Horse.
But the Broncos’ stallion mascot did nothing to help them bag the championship trophy.
If it is any consolation to Broncos fans, the coalition of lunar calendar-adhering countries has unanimously agreed to postpone the “Year of the Horse” as a way of empathizing with Denver.
A decision will be made tomorrow on whether to extend the 2013 Year of the Snake or to acelerate the 2015 Year of the Goat.
Pasadena, California – A San Diego woman is calling for a boycott of the popular Pasadena Rose Parade because two men from Los Angeles are scheduled to be married on a float called “Love is the Best Protection.” The cake-shaped float is being sponsored by The AIDS Healthcare Foundation to help raise awareness of HIV infection in the gay community.
Aubrey Loots, 42, and his partner Danny Leclair, 45, will tie the knot as nearly 68 million people watch, which will mark the first time a same-sex couple marries during the Rose Parade’s 125-year history. The men, who have been dating for 12 years, won the opportunity after they entered a contest at a wedding expo in October.
The woman, Karen Grube, believes the float should be removed from the New Year’s parade. She’s gone as far as to call corporate sponsors to gain their support in case the wedding goes as planned. Grube has also created a Facebook page called “Boycott the 2014 Rose Parade” to get others on her side.
As a compromise, parade organizers have agreed to build a second float on which a heterosexual couple will seek a divorce before a judge in front of the same 68 million people. Grube said she is pleased with the compromise and will herself lead a group of volunteers to build the “divorce float.”
The Adobo Chronicles has learned that the divorce float will be sponsored by Chick-Fil-A, with additional funding support from the Westboro Baptist Church. Parade organizers have also extended the invitation to the Robertson Family of Duck Dynasty to grace the float as the featured celebrities.
As of press time, 3,599 heterosexual couples have applied to be selected to undergo the divorce proceedings atop the Rose Parade float.
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