MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The Philippines is moving closer to the dawn of the “new normal” after proposals that the entire country be placed under Modified General Community Quarantine (MGCQ), the least restrictive of the government’s regulative policy aimed curbing the spread of Covid-19.

Among the proposed changes is to open up cinemas on the condition of controlled occupancy (physical distancing) and observance of, according to a Department of Health (DOH) officials, the wearing of face masks, no eating, no calls, and NO BATHROOM BREAKS!

In accordance with the DOH recommendation, the Inter-Agency Task Force on Emerging Infectious Diseases (IATF) issued Resolution 69-X that would require all movie patrons to bring their own portable urinals so that they wont’ have the need to use the cinema’s bathroom.

In anticipation of the opening of the cinemas and of the new IATF rules, online shopping portal Lazada is reporting that its supply of portable urinals has been depleted and is currently on back order.