QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Many weeks ago, retired talk show host and former presidential sister Kris Aquino hinted on her social media page that she has signed up for a major Hollywood film, which many thought would be ‘Crazy Rich Asians.’
But when the cast of the film project was announced, nowhere was Aquino’s named on it.
Then, in subsequent tweets, Aquino said she is working on a Hollywood film but was not at liberty to reveal the details.
Finally, Aquino announced the much-awaited film project, “Darna Versus Wonder Woman.” She plays Darna while Gal Gadot will reprise her role as Wonder Woman.
The film is based on fictional superheroine characters in the Philippines and the U.S., respectively.
“Naku ha, I’m super excited about being cast in this monumental film and proud to be the first Filipina to land a leading role in a Hollywood film. Our time has come,” Aquino told The Adobo Chronicles.
Asked how her new Hollywood career would affect her reported plans to run for mayor of Quezon City, Aquino said, “Puwede namang sabay di ba? Look at Ronald Reagan and Arnold Swarseneger. Did I spell his name right?”
The film is scheduled to open in the U.S. and the Philippines over the Labor Day Weekend this September.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The big news yesterday was the appointment of Duterte supporter and blogger Mocha Uson as Assistant Secretary of the Presidential Communications Operations Office (PCOO). Most Duterte supporters were elated over the appointment while the Yellowtards were fuming.
In announcing Uson’s appointment, Malacañang said that by accepting the new position, Uson is deemed to have resigned her position as member of the Movie and Television Ratings and Classification Board (MTRCB), creating a vacancy in the self-censorship body.
Upon learning of the new PCOO appointment, actress Agot Isidro sent a letter to Malacañang expressing her desire to be appointed to replace Uson on the MTRCB.
It will be recalled that Isidro took to her social media account to label Duterte a “psychopath,” to which the president responded that the actress had the constitutional right to free speech.
In her letter to Malacañang, Isidro said that she is well qualified for the position and that she will make for an unbiased member of the MTRCB.
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles, Los Angeles Bureau) – It has been rumored that Filipina actress, retired talk show host and former presidential sister Kris Aquino has landed a coveted role in the upcoming Hollywood film, “Crazy Rich Asians.”
Crazy Rich Asians is a 2013 best-selling novel by Kevin Kwan, loosely based on his own childhood in Singapore.
Film Plot
Nick Young, the heir apparent of an extremely wealthy old-money Singapore family living in New York City and working as a professor goes home for the first time in years to attend his best friend’s wedding. He decides to bring his girlfriend with him, Rachel Chu, who has no idea about the enormity of his wealth, and who is unprepared for immersion in an overwhelming world of wealth that doesn’t welcome her.
Astrid Leong, Nick’s cousin, the subject of Singapore society coverage, also known as “The Goddess”, seems to have it all: good breeding, astonishing beauty, massive wealth, great fashion sense, complete with a couture collection that rivals the Sheika of Qatar’s, and an attractive ex-army husband. Astrid discovers disturbing signs of a possible secret mistress as she comes to understand her husband’s insecurity about his own success compared to her vast wealth.
AquinoFails In Personal Interview
Sources close to The Adobo Chronicles have confirmed, however, that Aquino did not land the role following an in-person interview with the producers and casting director in Hollywood. Could it have been because of Aquino’s English skills? (The film will entirely be in English).
We’ve obtained an illegal copy of the transcript of Aquino’s interview with the Hollywood execs:
Casting Director: Good morning, Miss Aquino, how are you today?
Aquino: Haaay naku! The 13-hour flight from the Philippines is so nakakapagod. Grabe! But I’m okay today after having lunch at Chowking. You know, I own a franchise of this restaurant chain in Manila.
Producer: Tell us more about why you want to take on this role in what could be your first Hollywood film.
Aquino: Oh wait lang ha. I have to make bahing (Achoo!). Grabe, I’m not used to the weather here in L.A. In Manila, it’s so so hot, you make pawis right after you’ve taken a shower. Okay, well you know, it’s always been my ambition to be a Hollywood star. I’m qualified naman, di ba? As a matter of fact, I’ve starred in a lot of Filipino films, thanks to my little bossing who is not that little na.
Casting Director: What makes you best qualified for this role?
Aquino: Well, since this film is about rich Asians, I can relate to the role very well. You see, my family is very rich. In fact, we own a big hacienda in the Philippines. I also went to an exclusive school in Manila, plus I’ve spent some years living in an upscale neighborhood of Boston. I’m probably more rich and famous that Jeane Napoles, you know, the daughter of the Pork Barrel queen. Besides her wealth came from illegal sources. Mine is through my hard work. Plus, don’t you think I look like the perfect Asian face? Thanks to the unbelievable whitening cream I use every day.
Casting Director: Is it true you wore the seized necklaces and jewelry of Imelda Marcos?
Aquino: Naku naman, that’s a very unfair question. They are rumors lang. Not true.
Producer: How would you feel if you didn’t land the role in this film?
Aquino: Hahaha. I love your sense of humor. Nakakakilig. You’re kidding, right? Oh, did I already tell you na I am considered the Oprah Winfrey of the Philippines? The only difference is she’s black, and I’m mestiza.
QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Many weeks ago, retired talk show host and former presidential sister Kris Aquino hinted on her social media page that she has signed up for a major Hollywood film, which many thought would be ‘Crazy Rich Asians.’
The Adobo Chronicles 
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