Category Archives: Business

A Coding System For Shopping Malls?

May 5, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

The Metro Manila Council’s brainstorming session on solving traffic congestion has yielded an ingenious proposal: tinkering with shopping mall hours. Because obviously, nothing spells relief for gridlock like a spontaneous shopping spree at 3 a.m., right? But why stop there? Let’s slap some bandaids on this hemorrhaging problem!

Designating malls for exclusive night shifts is the perfect distraction from addressing the real issues. How about we take inspiration from vehicle coding and introduce mall coding? SM Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, Ayala on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and a free-for-all on Sundays, because even urban planners need a day off, right? Because what Manila truly needs is not a comprehensive, well-thought-out solution, but a carousel of half-baked ideas that conveniently sidestep the actual problem. After all, who needs logical, sustainable solutions when you can just shop ’til you drop, even if it’s at 4 a.m.?

Business, Law Enforcement, Legislation, Technology

New Line Of Paper Hole Punchers Soon To Hit Philippine Market

May 2, 2024 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

by Melchor Vergara

In a stroke of marketing genius inspired by Senator Bato de la Rosa’s recent fixation on punch holes, a new line of paper hole punchers is set to storm the Philippine market.

Promising to revolutionize document verification, these punchers boast the ability to leave behind a distinctive mark of authenticity—a trail of perfectly aligned punctures.

Dubbed the “Authentipunchers,” these innovative tools aim to put an end to forgery and deceit by ensuring that every important document comes with its own unmistakable pattern of punch holes. From contracts to certificates, nothing will escape the scrutiny of the Authentipunchers.

Manufacturers are already hailing this invention as the ultimate solution to prevent any future controversies over document authenticity.

With Senator de la Rosa’s endorsement ringing in their ears, they’re confident that every Filipino office will soon be equipped with these indispensable tools of verification. After all, in a world where punch holes reign supreme, authenticity is just a puncture away.