Category Archives: Business

Business, Film and TV, International, Local News, The Media

CNN TO MERGE WITH SWN SATIRE SITE IN THE PHILIPPINES

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imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – First came the news that 9TV will become CNN Philippines in early 2015. Now, the international cable news network is reportedly in negotiations to acquire SWN (So What’s News?), a Filipino news satire site.

An unmaned CNN spokesperson told reporters that CNN is continuously looking to expand its operations around the world and is constantly searching for existing news media outlets to acquire or partner with.

“SWN’s mission statement is very consistent with what CNN is trying to accomplish in its international news operations,” the spokesperson said, adding that “like SWN, we are committed to bring positive, accurate, entertaining and timely news to our millions of customers. And just like SWN, we love to report on fiction.”

On its web site, SWN describes its product as “news that won’t make you depressed to read the news.” Critics who oppose the CNN-SWN merger pointed out that CNN’s reporting is known to make people very depressed,  “so a merger with SWN is not a wise move at all.”

SWN refused to comment because negotiations are still ongoing.

Business, Economy, International, Law Enforcement

CANADA TO PHILIPPINES: RETURNS NOT ACCEPTED ON GARBAGE EXPORT

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trashOntario, Canada (The Adobo Chronicles) – A total of fifty 40-foot container vans of garbage recently arrived in Manila’s International Container Port.  It was supposed to be an export of scrap plastic materials for recycling, consigned to a Metro Manila trading firm by a Canadian company identified as Chronic Plastics.

It turns out that the shipment contained mostly toxic garbage, and was in violation of the Philippines’ Tariff and Customs Code, better known as the “Toxic Substances and Hazardous Wastes Control Act of 1990.”

Alerts were promptly issued on the shipment because the consignee had submitted incorrect documents for the importation, which has a declared value of over $220,000.

Ariel Nepomuceno, customs deputy commissioner for enforcement, warned “this junk dumped in the Philippines could pose biohazard risks to our people.”

Both the Bureau of Customs and the consignee firm have asked the Canadian shipper to take back the garbage.  However, Chronic Plastics laughed the request off, saying that it has a policy of “No return, no exchange.”

A spokesperson for Chronic Plastics said that all sales are final, especially for garbage waste.  “The only way we can accept a return is if the Philippines can assure us that the return shipment will be in the exact same condition as when it first left the Canadian port,” he said.

That doesn’t seem to be possible, as it was reported that garbage juice is now leaking from the container vans.  It’s been sitting for almost a year now at the Customs container yard and shipping it back to Canada will take another 3 months.

Business, Technology

APPLE’S iPHONE 6 : FROM BENDGATE TO HAIRGATE

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imageCupertino, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Just as Apple’s embarrassing ‘bendgate’ issues were receding from hairlines, er, headlines, a newer – and more painful – problem has emerged regarding its new set of iPhone 6 smartphones: they’re pulling out people’s hair.

Many iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus users have complained that their hair is getting caught in the shiny new devices when they make phone calls. When they end their calls and pull their phones away from their faces, their beard and head hairs are being pulled away with them.

This design flaw which many are calling ‘hairgate’ has put another dent on Apple’s new babies and may cost the company millions of dollars in lost revenue and potential lawsuits.

Rather than issue a recall of the new phones, Apple has sent a quick-fix email to all iPhone 6 and 6 Plus owners urging them to use anti-static shampoos or consider shaving their heads and beards.

The suggestion seems to be working just fine and complaints have been significantly reduced since that email from Apple.