Rome, Italy – The news and social media were abuzz with photos of and comments about Madonna’s grill. Not the barbecue grill, but the dental grill. The 55 year-old diva shocked reporters and her fans after she was photographed in Rome wearing a grill, some kind of teeth jewelry resembling that of dental braces.
Many fans were visibly upset upon seeing her photos on the Internet. “She looks like a wicked witch,” a fan exclaimed.
Well, the fan is actually right. It turns out that Madonna is producing a new film, a remake of “The Wizard Of Oz,” in which she will play role of the wicked witch.
Unlike the original verson of the classic film, the remake will be filmed not in Kansas, but in Italy. “We won’t have any difficulty filming the yellow brick road scenes here in Italy, given the abundance of cobblestone roads in the country,” Madonna said.
She asked her fans to keep calm about her new look. “The grill easily comes off, like my earrings,” she said.
In the meantime, Wall Street is reporting that dental and jewelry-related stock prices have more than doubled since the Madonna photos were posted on the Internet. Many parents were also complaining that their young daughters have all of a sudden demanded to be fitted with gold braces.
Atlanta, Georgia – Cable News Network (CNN) has announced that it is acquiring the E (Entertainment) Channel and that it is transitioning out of its normal news content. The announcement came just days after Al Jazeera America debuted on U.S. television sets beginning Tuesday this week. CNN was apparently threatened by the Qatar-owned international news network that boasts of news bureaus around the world, from the Philippines to South Africa. Al Jazeera America promised news programming that is less sensational, less opinionated, more in-depth and more accurate.
CNN’s top officials acknowledged that the network cannot compete with the resources and talent that is being brought into the American market by Al Jazeera television. Additionally ratings after ratings show that the number of CNN viewers in the U.S. have declined over the years, claiming only half the viewership of FOX News which maintains its lead over all the other cable news networks. CNN is second in ratings, followed by Headline News (HLN) and MSNBC.
On the other hand, CNN has found its niche in entertainment television, as shown by its recent coverage of the George Zimmerman trial and the wait for the arrival of England’s Royal baby. The network’s ratings also went up each time it covered celebrity gossips — from Lindsay Lohan to Justin Bieber. CNN also admitted that its political pundits and so-called experts are getting a bit old and tired of doing the same thing, 24 hours a day.
By purchasing the E Channel, CNN expects to recover from its financial losses and gain monopoly of big-time advertisers that usually support Hollywood-type content. CNN is also expected to eventually phase out its sister network, HLN.
Las Vegas, Nevada – The Miss Universe Organization has announced that NBA Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman will be among the celebrity judges at the forthcoming Miss Universe Pageant to be held in Moscow, Russia. The famous basketball player, who most recently shocked the world by his personal meeting with North Korean president Kim Jong Eun, will be the first-ever crossdresser to judge the pageant. Pageant officials requested that Rodman come dressed as a woman.
The announcement came just days after American television host Andy Cohen said that he was not going to fulfill his duties this year as co-emcee of the pageant, because of the anti-gay laws recently passed in Russia. Cohen is openly gay.
Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe Pageant said that since the organization has recently allowed transgender contestants to participate in the pageant, it just makes sense to also have a crossdresser as a member of the judging panel.
Rodman has not returned calls from The Adobo Chronicles which wanted to find out who is designing the NBA star’s gown for the final night telecast.
Russian officials were silent on the issue of whether Rodman will be subject to arrest if he attends the pageant dressed as a woman.