Donald Trump Says He Will Dissolve His Foundation

img_7871WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – In order to address any issue of conflict of interest between his personal business and the presidency, Donald Trump has just announced that he will dissolve his foundation.

This means that  beginning at his January 20 presidential inauguration, Trump will no longer be seen in public wearing the orange-color makeup foundation and the white eye bag concealer cream that he has been known to wear.

What you see is what you get.

Under His Presidency, Trump Will Outlaw Hanukkah, Kwanzaa

IMG_7867.PNGWASHINGTON, D.C (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – When Donald Trump said last week that we “can say Merry Christmas again,” it seems he really meant it.  But sources close to his son Donald, Jr., told The Adobo Chronicles that the president-elect has a more elaborate plan on reviving and preserving White Christmas.

We were told that as president, Trump would outlaw other holidays usually observed and celebrated at about the same time as Christmas.  Yup, he’s talking about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Hanukkah celebrates faith and resistance against oppression and is observed mostly in the Jewish community.

Kwanzaa is Swahili which means “first fruits.” Celebratated mostly in the African American community, Kwanzaa focuses on faith, creativity and working together to solve problems and improve society.

A spokesperson for Donald Jr. said that his father’s plan comes altogether, perfectly — all aimed at his campaign promise to “make America White again.”

You get who you vote for.  Say “Happy Holidays” one last time.

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President Duterte Sends Personal Christmas Message To Senator De Lima

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December 25, 2016

Dear Madam:

Despite our irreconcilable differences, I would like — in all humility —  to send you my best wishes for a Merry Christmas.

Christmas is a time for love, peace and healing.  I offer you all three.

While many people and the biased media have labeled us “arch enemies,” in reality we have a lot in common.

We were both elected by the people.  Me by 16 Million, you by 14 Million.

We were both criticized for our weaknesses. Me, for my cussing. You for your frailty.

We’re both fashionistas.  Me, for my denim Barong Tagalog.You for your trademark scarf.

You have been accused of protecting drug lords inside the National Bilibid Prison.  You have accused me of being the top protector of drug lords.

In the last 6 months, I have travelled abroad to meet with the leaders of China, Japan, Russia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore.  You have travelled to the U.S. to meet with Loida Nicolas-Lewis.

You were in Berlin, Germany for a conference.  I have been likened to Adolf Hitler

I have presided over a joint session of Congress.  You have presided over a Senate commmittee hearing before being ousted as chair; although  you have refused to appear before a House of Representatives hearing.

A criminal case against you has been filed for ignoring the summons from the parliamentary committee and subcommittees as well as obstruction of justice by stopping your former driver from testifying in front of a panel probing illegal drug trade inside a prison facility.  You have filed a test case against me and my immunity from suit before the Supreme Court.

You have called me a dictator.  I have called you an immoral woman.

So in the spirit of the season, let’s both STFU. P*tang Ina!

Fondlely,

Digong