Monthly Archives: October 2016

Diversity, Law Enforcement, LGBT

Supreme Court To Construct Genderless Bathrooms In Preparation For Landmark Transgender Case

Leave a comment

img_6501WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – The U.S. Supreme Court agreed Friday to take up the controversial issue of transgender rights, and will consider a Virginia school district’s challenge to Obama administration guidelines requiring that schools allow transgender students to use restrooms matching their chosen gender, rather than birth gender.

A federal appeals court ruled in April for high school student Gavin Grimm in one of several lawsuits challenging the Department of Education rule. The case is likely to be heard by April and decided by late June.

In preparation for the hearings, Chief Justice John Roberts told The Adobo Chronicles that he has ordered the SC building administrator to begin constructing genderless bathrooms outside the court chambers so that the justices will not be perceived as biased towards either the transgender or straight communities.

If the justices rule in favor of Grimm, the bathrooms will remain permanent. Otherwise, they will be de-constructed after the court issues its ruling.

image

Government, Religion, Travel

What Really Transpired Between God And President Duterte

1 Comment
IMG_6737.PNG
Photo credit: New York Times (video capture)

DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Even The New York Times has been had, reporting on the alleged conversation between God and Philippines President Rodrigo Roa Duterte during the latter’s return flight from his state visit to Japan.

Duterte said that he promised God that he would stop cussing after God threatened to take down the plane he was on.

But what really transpired between Duterte and the Almighty?

In The Adobo Chronicles’ exclusive interview with the president shortly after his plane landed in Davao City, he narrated his conversation with God:

GOD: Digong…

DUTERTE: P*tang Ina, you scared me!

GOD: Watch your mouth, I am not the Pope or President Obama.

DUTERTE: I’m very sorry, my God. How can I be of service to you?

GOD: You already are. Whatsoever you do to the least of your brethren, you also do to me.

DUTERTE: Ay, mabuti ka pa (you are much better)  you understand me, unlike the news media and the Human Rights groups, they keep criticizing my war on drugs.

GOD: I’m not talking about that. That would be for a later conversation you can have with St. Peter. At the gates of heaven.

Duterte: I look forward to leaving the gates of hell, as Dan Brown said of Manila in his book ‘Inferno.’

GOD: That’s fiction. What’s fact is that you are doing a hell of a job — I mean a heaven of a job — serving my people. I sent you to earth to serve the poor, downtrodden, victims of crime and corruption, the sick, the elderly, the imprisoned — including those inside the New Bilibid Prison.  By golly, you can be a saint!

DUTERTE: My God, with all due respect, please watch your mouth.

GOD: Ooops, I’m sorry. See, even I can apologize. Will you promise to apologize to those you have cursed?

DUTERTE: You mean those son-of-a….

GOD: Hey, hey

DUTERTE : (Inaudible)

GOD: Is there anything you’d like to ask me ?

DUTERTE: Yes, is it true that Cory Aquino is going to be the next Filipino saint?

GOD: No comment

(End of conversation)

image

Government

What White House Executive Chef Comerford Would Cook For President Hillary’s First Meal

1 Comment
IMG_6725.JPG
Comerford

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – White House executive chef,  Filipino-American Cristeta Comerford, has revealed what she would cook for President Hillary Clinton’s first meal when she moves (back) to the presidential residence.  That is, of course, assuming the Clintons will continue to retain her services.

It would be pancit, that signature noodle dish closely identified with the Philippines.

When asked by The Adobo Chronicles why she chose pancit, Comerford said that pancit represents long life and a ‘long term,’ meaning she was hoping Hillary would be elected to a second four-year term like her predecessor and current boss,  President Barack Obama.

img_6726
Filipino pancit (Photo: MyBayKitchen.com)

We were hoping she’d say  “chicken or pork adobo” but we agree with her rationale for choosing pancit.

image