DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN RADICALIZED, EX-WIFE SAYS

Donald and Ivana Trump in happier days
Donald and Ivana Trump in happier days

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – The ex-wife of Donald Trump told reporters today that the Republican presidential candidate has been so radicalized to the point she could not recognize him anymore.

Ivana Trump, 66, was married to the real estate mogul from 1977 to 1992. She said that she suspects a burning desire for power has totally changed him since he declared his candidacy for president.

‘The Donald Trump I know was a church-going Christian who would hobnob with the Clintons, hang out with Miss Universe contestants, crisscross the country and the world looking for business opportunities, and a rising reality TV star,’ she said. ‘I used to support his candidacy for president, but with all his radical views of late, I cannot, in true conscience, vote for him.’

The Donald has gone from calling Mexicans rapists and criminals to proposing to ‘take out’ relatives of terrorists to totally banning all Muslims from entering the U.S.

Asked who she thought was responsible for radicalizing her ex-husband, Ivana replied, ‘Why, of course all those lunatics who keep voting for him in the polls!’

The latest Republican presidential poll shows Trump garnering 36% of the votes, double digits ahead of his closest rival, Senator Ted Cruz.

 

DONALD TRUMP: ‘I MISSPOKE’

imageLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – Facing intense criticism from both Democrats and his own Republican Party, presidential candidate Donald Trump used his Instagram account today to clarify his position on ‘Making American Great Again.’ That was his campaign theme when he announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination.

Trump made headlines today when he called for the banning of Muslims from entering the United States.

‘I am not apologizing for my statement,’ he said, ‘but this I can tell you: I misspoke when I said during my campaign launch that we can make America great again.  What I meant to say was that we can make America white again.’

Makes perfect sense.

 

 

CONFUSION MARKS PRESENTATION OF MISS UNIVERSE CANDIDATES

imageLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – There was confusion at the Planet Hollywood Resort in Las Vegas on Sunday, when the candidates for the Miss Universe Pageant were introduced to the media for the first time.

When Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach was called, reporters thought they would be meeting Miss Germany.  Wurtzbach is Miss Philippines who is half- German.

When Miss Great Britain was called, Miss France came up on stage — Miss Nena France, that is.

When it was Miss Japan’s turn to be presented, reporters were waiting for her to show up.  They didn’t realize Ariana Miyamoto was already on stage.  She is half-black.

When Miss Jordan was announced, the media was shocked to see Miss U.S.A. appear on stage. Miss U.S.A., is, of course, Olivia Jordan.

Finally, when the name Paola Nunez was called, reporters thought they will be meeting Miss Colombia.  Nunez is Miss Canada.

When all’s been said and done, reporters came away with a lesson, and a question: “What’s in a name?”