LAGLAG BALA: TOURISM SECRETARY TELLS FILIPINOS, MEDIA TO SHUT UP

imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Hush!  Philippine Tourism Secretary Ramon Jimenez Jr. urged Filipinos and the media to STFU (shut up) because it is hurting the country’s tourism industry.

Jimenez was referring to the laglag bala  or tanim bala scheme at Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) in which airport personnel allegedly “plant” bullets in bags of unsuspecting airline passengers in order to extort money.

Speaking at a weekly forum at the Luneta Hotel, Jimenez said reports on the tanim bala demonstrate the media’s tendency to discuss issues “to death until it actually injures our own interest.”

“I am very concerned on both ends of it — not only because it is a symptom of corruption that we have yet to uproot, it is also a symptom that sometimes as a country we don’t know when to stop talking about something,” he said.

Jimenez went as far as recommending to President Aquino to change the administration’s anti-corruption mantra from Daang Matuwid (straight path) to Daang Matahimik (quiet path).

 

 

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS, NBA CHAMPS, TO CELEBRATE ‘LAGLAG BALA’

imageSAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – NBA champions Golden State Warriors will hold a fundraiser to celebrate laglag bala,  the now internationally-recognized extortion scheme at Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA). The scheme involves the alleged ‘planting’ by airport personnel of bullets in bags of unsuspecting passengers.

The Warriors will host a Filipino Heritage event at a California casino on November 14, and will be wearing special edition “shooting shirts,” according to an announcement by event organizers.

In response to a query by The Adobo Chronicles on the significance of the shooting shirts, the organizers said the basketball champs recognize the extraordinary accomplishment by NAIA in putting the Philippines on the world map through the laglag bala scheme.

Proceeds from the sale of the shooting shirts will go towards the continued improvement and modernization of NAIA.

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MANILA’S INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT: NAIA RENAMED FEMIA

From NAIA to FEMIA
From NAIA to FEMIA

MANILA, Philippines ( The Adobo Chronicles) – The laglag bala scheme at Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has caused the Aquino administration so much ridicule and embarrassment that the President has ordered the renaming of the airport to FEMIA.

The scheme involves the alleged ‘planting’ of bullets in the bags of unsuspecting airline passengers for the purpose of extorting money.

“I do not wish the Aquino name to be associated with this international scandal,” Aquino said.  NAIA was named after his father who was gunned down at the Manila airport after returning from years of exile in the U.S.

Just in time for next week’s Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit in Manila, to be attended by some 21 world leaders, the new signage was put up today in austere light switching ceremonies.

Henceforth, NAIA will be called FEMIA: Ferdinand E. Marcos International Airport, in honor of the late dictator, a nemesis of the Aquinos.

The lighting ceremony was led by Senator Bongbong Marcos, Ferdinand’s son, who is a candidate for vice president.