Monthly Archives: January 2015

Law Enforcement, Politics

PHILIPPINES VICE PRESIDENT WANTS TO CONVERT NATIONAL PENITENTIARY INTO PRESIDENTIAL PALACE

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Facade of the New Bilibid Prison
Facade of the New Bilibid Prison

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Philippines’ National Penitentiary (New Bilibid Prison) in Metro Manila has been in the headlines recently after the Justice Department uncovered luxury prison cells occupied by incarcerated drug lords. Among other things, VIP (Very Important Prisoners) inmates had jacuzzis, sleep number beds, airconditioners, life-sized inflatable sex toys, even a recording studio.

Many have proposed that the goverment transfer the prison to an island surrounded by water, much like San Francisco’s famed Alcatraz prison.

Vice President Jejomar Binay, who continues to be the frontrunner among potential candidates for president in 2016, likes the idea of an island prison. So what does he want to do with the existing New Bilibid Prison building? He wants to convert it to a presidential palace to replace the existing one, Malacañang Palace.

“If I become president, I will relocate the presidential palace from its current location by the Pasig River to this historic and landmark prison building,” Binay said. “We don’t need to spend millions of pesos dismantling the luxury rooms and amenities at the New Bilibid Prison. We’ll spend less by just refurbishing the building and converting it to the new Malacañang,” he added.

The Vice President believes that relocating the presidential palace to the penitentiary will “bring the government closer to the people.”

“Besides, look at the facade of the building. It really looks like a castle and a palace,” Binay told reporters.

Politics

JOHN BOEHNER DISPUTES CLAIM THAT NEW CONGRESS IS OVERWHELMINGLY WHITE

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Boehner (Photo courtesy of NBC)
Boehner (Photo courtesy of NBC)

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The 114th Congress convenes today amid criticism that its members continue to be overwhelmingly male and white.

To be fair, the new Congress has more women and minorities than any other before it. There are now  96 racial minorities and a record 104 women, and for the first time in history, both parties will include both male and female African-American members.

“While it is true that the new Congress is still overwhelmingly male, I disagree that it is overwhelmingly white,” Boehner said. “I am the best proof. I don’t consder myself white. I’m orange,” the embattled speaker added.

Boehner told The Adobo Chronicles that if reelected speaker, he will mandate that all white members of Congress get a dark tan or wear dark makeup, preferrably orange.

Orange is the new white.

Business, Economy, Travel

UNITED AIRLINES WILL OFFER ‘ECONOMY MINUS’ SEATS FOR HALF PRICE

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imageCHICAGO, Illinois (The Adobo Chronicles) – The same U.S. airline that started the ‘economy plus’ seats in its aircraft main cabin is about to take back that extra legroom in favor of ‘economy minus’ seats — for half the airfare.

UNITED Airlines (UAL) started offering its economy plus seats with more legroom some 15 years ago for passengers willing to pay extra as well as to reward its frequent fliers.

Beginning on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2015, UAL passengers will have the option to book economy minus seats for a 50% discount. These seats will have 50% less legroom compared to the already cramped regular economy seats.  Furthermore, the economy minus seat backs will not recline and there will be no tray tables that fold down for meals or to set laptops and other portable devices on.

“It’s a win-win situation, ” a UNITED spokesperson said. “Passengers will see significant savings, and UAL will be able to increase the number of seats and generate more revenue.”

The Adobo Chronicles learned that non-alcoholic beverages and peanuts will still be complimentary, but economy minus passengers purchasing meals on board will have to set their food on their laps. UNITED will not be responsible for food items that may fall off passenger laps in the event of unexpected turbulence.