research | The Adobo Chronicles

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (The Adobo Chronicles) – A new study from the University of Missouri confirms what botanists have long suspected: plants and vegetables have feelings just like humans and animals.

The research shows that plants can sense when they are being eaten and send out defense mechanisms to try to stop it from happening.

The study was carried out on thale cress, which is closely related to broccoli, kale, mustard greens, and other siblings of the brassica family and is popular for science experiments.

According to the research study, the thale cress produces mustard oils that are mildly toxic when eaten and sends them throughout its leaves to try to keep the predators away. The research also revealed that when the plants feel or hear “munching vibrations” from caterpillar and other plant-eating organisms, they send out extra mustard oils.

This new finding is greatly disturbing to vegans and vegetarians, most of whom practice this lifestyle because they cannot fathom the thought of animals being killed or butchered for food. “Now what alternative do we have if we can’t eat meat or vegetables,” said one practicing vegan living in San Francisco’s Haight District.

Meanwhile, Catholics around the globe are anxiously awaiting a pronouncement from Pope Francis, who, in just the last several weeks, said that all animals go to heaven. The question they want answered by The Vatican is: do plants and vegetables go to heaven too?

Palo Alto, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Twenty years ago, a study by American scientist Dean Hamer claimed to have discovered a so-called “gay gene” – but his research was criticised vocally by several right-wing US politicians and certain members of the religious community.

Now, scientists at the Human Genome Project have found evidence pointing to the existence of not one, but two or more so-called “gay genes.”

“Sexual orientation has nothing to do with choice,” said lead researcher Michael Bailey of Northwestern University in Chicago. “Our findings suggest there may be genes at play, and we found evidence for two sets that affect whether a man is gay or straight.”

Meanwhile, researchers at Stanford University are about to announce the results of a ground-breaking study that explains why people become heterosexual. They discovered a mutant gene which they named HTXL-1 which is responsible for a person’s heterosexual orientation.

“During the first three months of pregnancy, human genes circulate inside the fetus, trying to claim their proper position in the baby’s overall genetic makeup,” the researchers said. “During this process, a few genes mutate, causing a great imbalance in the genetic makeup. This mutation and imbalance produce right-leaning genes and eventually determine a person’s heterosexual orientaion,” they added.

The study concluded that 90% of fetuses develop these mutant genes.