Tag Archives: Donald Trump.

TRUMP TOILET TISSUE IN SHORT SUPPLY ACCORDING TO KENYAN AMERICAN MANUFACTURER

imageSAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) –  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has again hit below the belt, confirming his dislike for Kenyans, including the one living in The White House.

This time, he has attacked Kenyan athletets who won the IAAF World Championships in Beijing, saying they are “cheap frauds, masquerades and conmen/women.”

Trump made the disparaging comments in Iowa where he met veterans and promised their well being when he becomes President.

According to MSNBC, Trump’s remarks did not augur well with a handful of people and they jeered him all the way. According to Trump, Kenyans including Obama are conmen who dope and cheat on their way to the top.

He reiterated categorically that it is the US that won and not Kenya. Trump congratulated the US athletes for winning the IAAF World Championships in Beijing although they were not officially pronounced winners.

Following Trump’s comments, a Kenyan-American has started manufacturing tissue paper in the U.S. bearing Trump’s ugly image. Businessman Gideon Munguti vowed to teach Trump a lifetime lesson. .

According to 26 year old Munguti, “Trump deserves to wipe all shit and escort it to destination.”

The new household item has been selling like hotcakes and as of 5 p.m, Sunday, the limited edition toilet tissue has been on backorder at Costco, Walmart, K-mart, Safeway and Whole Foods.

Even eBay is reporting that the toilet tissue, despite being sold at exhorbitant prices, is also sold-out.

Will Trump learn not to mess with Kenyans?

Recently Kenyans from all walks of life created a twitter hashtag dubbed #someonetellTrump, to warn him to stay away from the mighty people of Kenya.

DONALD TRUMP TO ISRAEL’S BENJAMIN NETANYAHU: “YOU’RE A COPYCAT”

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today accused Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of being a ‘copycat.’

Israel has begun building a fence along part of the country’s eastern border with Jordan as Syrian civil war refugees and other migrants flee their countries. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Sunday: “We see today what happens when countries lose control of their borders. Earlier in the day,  Netanyahu bemoaned the “human tragedy” of Syria’s civil war and said Israel has helped out victims. However, he said Israel isn’t large enough to do much more.

Trump told reporters that “The Israeli prime minister needs to be more original in his pronouncements and policies instead of copying my ideas.”

Trump had proposed building a ‘great wall’ along the entire U.S.-Mexico border as a way to stop illegal immigration. He fell short of asking Netanyahu to pay him royalty fees for stealing his idea.

UPDATING: DONALD TRUMP TURNS TO MATH TO SOLVE ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION

imageNEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Until recently, Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric has not been matched with concrete proposals on how exactly he plans to deport all of the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants now living in the U.S.

But it turns out the Relublican presidential candidate and real estate mogul is also a math wizard and has turned to his number skills to put forward a brilliant plan to solve both illegal immigration and the worsening Syrian refugee crisis.

Syria’s civil war is the worst humanitarian disaster of our time.  According to mercycorps.org, the number of displaced Syrians — mostly civilians — has reached more than 11 million people thus far.

Bingo!

Trump is now proposing that the United States, following the example of many European countries —  open its borders to Syrian refugees.  However, he says that for every Syrian refugee accepted into the U.S. , one undocumented immigrant now living in the U.S. should be deported.

So there you go, one undocumented immigrant for one Syrian refugee. That’s 11 Million and counting.

Illegal immigration solved. Syrian refugee crisis solved. Trump for president!