MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Laglag bala, brownouts, collapsed ceilings, flooding, non-functioning airconditioning units, lost luggage, extortion,  you name it.  The Filipinos and international travelers visiting Manila have had it with the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA), the world’s worst airport according to many travel surveys.

Well, so has presidential candidate and Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte.

Today, Duterte made the biggest and most popular promise in his campaign.

“On my first day in office, I will rename NAIA back to Manila International Airport, because international pilots have a hard time saying the name when communicating with air traffic control.”

“Secondly, I will fire ALL airport personnel starting with Manila International Airport Authority General Manager Jose Angel Honrado.  He’ll be a gonner!”

“Next, I will ask all fired employees except Honrado to reapply, but only after going through a lie-detector test.  Only those who pass the test will be considered for re-employment.  There will only be one question in the test: have you ever done any hocus-pocus while employed at NAIA?”

Minutes after he made this campaign promise, Duterte’s national poll ratings shot up to 98%, assuring him of a landslide victory in the May 9, 2016 Philippine elections.

Hail the new president!