PHILIPPINE CONGRESS’ JOINT RESOLUTION HONORING MISS WORLD 2013

October 10, 2013 Pol Pinoy 2 Comments

Manila, Philippines – Newly-crowned Miss World 2013, Megan Young of the Philippines, came home to a very warm welcome from proud Filipinos who wildly cheered their beauty queen for bagging the once-elusive pageant title. Young is the first Filipina to win Miss World.

The next few days will see a very busy schedule for Ms. Young who is expected to grace many celebration parties, public events and courtesy calls on President Noynoy Aquino and members of Congress.

When Young visits Congress on Monday, she will be presented with a rare Joint Resolution of the Senate and House of Representatives commending her for this extraordinary feat while expressing relief that the focus has been turned away from the pork barrel scandal that has preoccupied the nation all summer.

The Adobo Chronicles was able to obtain a copy of the Joint Resolution which will be formally presented to Ms. Young on Monday. The resolution reads:

“WHEREAS, Miss Philippines Megan Young has brought great honor to the country by winning the once-elusive title of Miss World 2013;

WHEREAS, Ms. Young has reinvigorated the Filipino people’s pride because of her achievement;

WHEREAS, this national honor comes at a time in the nation’s political history where the Filipino people’s confidence in both the Senate and House of Representatives has reached its lowest level since the founding of our Republic;

WHEREAS, this national honor focuses the spotlight away from the growing scandal relative to the pork barrel scam which has siphoned billions of pesos of taxpayer money and into the pockets of members of both houses of Congress and their cronies;

BE IT RESOLVED, AS IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED, that Miss World 2013 be presented with the highest commendation for helping save the asses of our colleagues in the Senate and the House of Representatives from the pork barrel scandal;

BE IT RESOLVED, FURTHER, that the Senate and House of Representatives declare a one-year recess from their sessions to appropriately celebrate this great honor;

FINALLY, this joint resolution will have the full effect of a suspension of any and all investigation of members of both houses relative to the pork barrel scandal.

Unanimously approved via voice vote by the joint session of the Senate and House of Representatives this 14^th day of October in the year of our Lord.”

Film and TV, Health & Medicine

IMPOSTER FOSTER FARMS CHICKEN SICKENED BY SALMONELLA

October 10, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Atlanta, Georgia – For the second time this year, federal officials have warned the public about Salmonella infections associated with Foster Farms chicken. In the latest outbreak, officials have confirmed nearly 280 cases, according to a public health alert issued Monday by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. In July, the Centers for Disease Control noted that nearly 135 illnesses were reported in a separate outbreak that started last year.

To add insult to injury, Foster Farms has acknowledged that the two Foster Farms imposter chicken used by the company in its popular series of TV commercials, have also been sickened by salmonella. The chicken, portrayed in the commercials as claiming to be corn-fed and always fresh, were photographed in a doctor’s office in Portland, Oregon, waiting to be examined and evaluated for salmonella poisoning.

The popular imposters have gotten into and out of some crazy scrapes: stopped by cops, choked in a tattoo parlor, driven in a beaten sedan filled with ice, attempted alleyway liposuction, marinated in a kiddie pool, wrapped in plastic, basted into a washing machine, crashed a Yoga session, busted in a motel room, binged on junk food, and much more.

Music

REASON FOR JONAS BROTHERS’ CANCELLED TOUR REVEALED

October 10, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Hollywood, California – The Jonas Brothers are canceling their tour – two days before it was set to begin, it was reported today. “There is a deep rift within the band,” their spokesman, Jesse Derris, said. “There was a big a disagreement over their music direction.”

Over the weekend, an argument among the trio – Nick, 21, Joe, 24, and Kevin, 25 – regarding the direction of the band and its music led to the decision to cancel their 19-date tour, which was to kick off Friday.

Over the last few years, the brothers have each pursued other projects. Nick and Joe released solo albums and pursued acting careers while Kevin and his wife Danielle have starred in their own reality series, E!’s Married to Jonas.

However, The Adobo Chronicles, in an exclusive interview with one of the brothers, learned about the real reason behind the disagreement. This brother agreed to the interview on the condition that he not be identified .

The three brothers all sport mustaches and beards and they all felt that only one of them should do so during the entire concert tour. “None of us was willing to shave,” said this Jonas brother, “so we ended up deciding to cancel our tour.”