SOUTH CAROLINA SHOOTING: OUR PUNCHLINE

June 19, 2015 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) Every day and every hour, we at The Adobo Chronicles® wave our magic wand to scan the world of news in the hope of shining the spotlight on things that are obvious, or not so obvious.

Then, our writers get right to work, putting their best spin — sometimes ridiculous, oftentimes funny, and occasionally offensive — in order to make sense (or not) of the topic at hand.

Next, we decide on the punchline for our news delivery.

It was business as usual yesterday. The top news was, of course, the shooting of nine people in a predominantly black church congregation in South Carolina allegedly by a 21-year-old white man.

It didn’t take long for our newsroom staff to decide on our punchline, which is …

NONE.

This is as crystal clear as black and white.

Our thoughts and prayers to the victims and families of this racist attack.

International, Politics

DONALD TRUMP’S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGY: MISS UNIVERSE TITLE HOLDERS

June 18, 2015 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Miss Universe title holder Olivian Culpo of the United States — Miss Universe title holder Olivia Culpo of the United States

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – Donald Trump, who has just announced that he was running for president of the United States, has been accused of paying actors to attend his presidential bid announcement in New York this week. But there’s more.

The business mogul, who admitted he was filthy rich during his announcement, has reportedly ennlisted all Miss Universe title holders for the last ten years to be his campaign managers. (Trump is the owner of the Miss Universe Pageant).

The Donald told reporters that engaging the beauty queens in his campaign would be the best strategy to beat his potential woman opponent in the 2016 elections, Hillary Clinton.

Sounds like a case of ‘Beauty and the Beast,” doesn’t it?

Technology

Gesundheit! Forgot Your Password? Sneezing Is The Latest In Identity Technology

June 18, 2015 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) – Forgot your password yet again? No worries. There’s a new technology now in the market that will revolutionize identity recognition for unlocking your smart phone, using the ATM, or gaining access to maximum security areas.

Until recently, fingerprints and the eye’s iris have been the highest standard in identity technology.

Today, Symantec Corporation announced the latest innovation: sneezing into your phone or computer instead of entering a passcode or using your fingerprint or iris.

Symantec is an American technology company headquartered in Mountain View, California. The company makes security, storage, backup and availability software and offers professional services to support its software.

A company spokesperson told The Adobo Chronicles® that the new technology is based on the fact that no two persons sneeze alike. The technology will recognize a person’s sneeze and match it with the identity on record. In addition, the moisture from a person’s sneeze will provide fool-proof identification based on his or her DNA.

The sneeze identity technology, aptly named ‘Gesundheit,’ can be installed on any existing device by dowloading a Symantec software that’s retailing for $129.99.

So the next time you unlock your phone or withdraw money from your bank account, say “Achoo!”

We see a lot of blessings coming our way!