NEW “MAN OF STEEL” FILM TO INTRODUCE THIRD SUPERHERO

 

imageHollywood, California – Warner Bros. has just confirmed that the sequel to “Man Of Steel” has started filming in Toronto.

Earlier this month, “Man Of Steel” director Zack Snyder revealed at Comic Con that Batman and Superman were set to join forces in this new sequel. The movie will once again star Henry Cavill as Superman – although a new actor is likely to replace Christian Bale as the Dark Knight.  Update: Oscar winner Ben Affleck will play the Batman character in the upcoming Superman sequel!

Henry Cavill as Superman
Henry Cavill as Superman

In a surprising announcement, Warner Bros. also said that a third Superhero has been added to this action-packed movie which is expected to hit the theaters in early 2015.

The third lead character will be SuperGay, whose powerful operatic singing voice can sink ships, blow up buldings and practically move mountains.  Sources who have reviewed the script tell The Adobo Chronicles that a love triangle ensues in this super adventure.  SuperGay falls in love with the good-looking Superman as the three, including Batman, pursue the dark forces that have descended on earth in the city of Metropolitic. The twist happens when SuperGay finds Batman in the locker room after a workout without his mask. Only then does SuperGay find out that Batman was much more good looking than Superman. SuperGay becomes conflicted with his love for Superman and Batman. Our sources refused to reveal how the movie ends to avoid a spoiler.

Country singer Steve Grand
Country singer Steve Grand

Openly gay country singer Steve Grand will play the role of SuperGay.  In preparation for the role, Grand has taken up intensive opera singing lessons at the Toronto Conservatory of Music.

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JOINT CNN-FOX NEWS POLL SHOWS ALL-WOMEN FIELD FOR 2016 U.S. PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS

Clinton
Clinton

Atlanta, Georgia – A joint CNN and FOX News poll shows a sharp shift in American voter preference for the 2016 presidential elections.  A huge  majority of the 10,000 likely voters polled from acoss the 50 states are now gravitating towards women. Republicans and Democrats alike have chosen an all-women field for their top three choices for the next U.S. president.  While the 4th and 5th places on both the Republican and Democrat sides were men,  the poll numbers were too insignificant and way below the 3% margin of error.  CNN and Fox chose not to reveal the names of the potential male candidates because the networks would not want to embarrass them. Not surprisingly, there was a 3-way tie in the Republican poll. Here are the poll results:

DEMOCRATS:                                                            REPUBLICANS:

1. Hillary Clinton, 45%                                        1. Sarah Palin, 33.33%

2.  Elizabeth Warren, 40%.                                  2. Michelle Bachmann, 33.33%

3. Caroline Kennedy, 14.9 %.                              3.  Jan Brewer, 33.33 %

Top: Palin, Bachmann; Bottom: Brewer, Kennedy, Warren
Top: Palin, Bachmann; Bottom: Brewer, Kennedy, Warren

The CNN-FOX News poll did not pit the Republican and Democrat candidates against each other. “That will be for the next poll,” a joint statement from the two networks said.

“TWILIGHT” ACTORS REPULSED BY GILROY GARLIC FESTIVAL

twiGilroy, California – Organizers of the annual Gilroy Garlic Festival revealed today that of the three lead actors of the “Twilight” film series invited to grace the event, only Taylor Lautner will be making an appearance.  The other two actors, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, have declined the invitation.

The Gilroy Garlic Festival is the world’s largest such event participated in by hundreds of food vendors with booths featuring the best garlic recipes. This year’s festival is scheduled for July 26-28.  Gilroy, a city located 78 miles south of San Francisco, is one of the largest, if not the largest garlic producer in the U.S.  The festival is designed to showcase the city’s booming garlic industry.

garFestival organizers said that Stewart and Pattinson apologized for declining the invitation, citing garlic as the reason for their inability to attend.  Both actors said that since they started acting in the “Twilight” series, they have developed a phobia for garlic. “We just can’t imagine being in an environment full of garlic,” the pair said. It is common knowledge in many cultures that garlic is used to drive away vampires.  Stewart and Pattinson play vampires in the film series.  Organizers said that Taylor Lautner, who plays a werewolf in the films, was gracious enough to accept the personal appearance invitation, despite the non-appearance of his co-stars.

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