BRUNO MARS LOSES VOICE, CANCELS ALL SCHEDULED CONCERTS

imageHollywood, California – Just weeks after his triumphant half-time show performance at this year’s Super Bowl, tragedy has struck Filipino American pop sensation Bruno Mars. He has all but lost his voice, prompting him to cancel his concert tour at least for the next six months and pending his further prognosis.

It all happened this week when Mars was a guest in the  Ellen (Degeneres) show. While waiting in his dressing room for his cue to come on the show, Mars suddenly felt the urge to munch on some pringles set on the snack table in the room. After having a few pieces of the potato chips, he felt a painful lump in his throat. He immediately drank a can of cold pepsi to try to get rid of the lump, but to no avail.

A television studio nurse was called in to examine Mars, but nothing could be done to alleviate the pain he was experiencing. Mars was then transported to a nearby hospital where a team of doctors successfully removed the chips caught in his voice box.  But alas, it was too late. Mars had lost his voice. image13.jpg

Doctors said that while the loss of voice is temporary, it would take at least six months of rehabilitation and voice therapy to get the singer fully back in shape.

(Ellen Degeneres contributed to this report)

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RUSSIA SUSPENDS VISA REQUIREMENTS, SUBSIDIZES AIRFARE AND GIVES AWAY FREE OLYMPIC TICKETS

imageSochi, Russia – Russia is trying hard to put its best foot forward in hosting the 2014 Winter Olympics, but scenes showing empty seats at the Iceberg Skating Palace and other venues are causing a big headache for President Vladimir Putin and Russian Olympic officials.

In an emergency meeting held at the Kremlin, the Russian government has decided to suspend all travel visa requirements as well as give away Olympic venue tickets in order to fill the empty seats. It is also considering subsidizing airfares from anywhere in the world to Sochi for the next two weeks.image13.jpg

The Putin government has also reportedly paid NBC and other media companies covering the winter games to refrain from photographing or aiming their television cameras at the empty seats during all scheduled events.

PUTIN ARRESTED FOR VIOLATING RUSSIA’S ANTI-GAY LAW

imageSochi, Russia – Russian President Vladimir Putin was arrested Sunday night for violating his own government’s laws prohibiting the public display of homosexuality.

The arrest came shortly after the Russians won the gold medal in the team skating competition, beating out Canada and the United States. Putin, who was in the audience all evening, rushed to the athletes’ stand and embraced the handsome Evgeni Plushenko.image13.jpg

Putin was booked but later released after making a public apology. “I just could not contain myself, ” he said, “and I am really sorry for bringing embarassment to Russia.”

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