In a country where sirs and madams glide through traffic laws with impunity, what better way to bring accountability than by branding their vehicles with extra-special license plates?
Let’s assign numbers like “7-1” to “7-24” for senators, and perhaps “8-1” to “8-316 for congressmen. This way, when these symbols of democracy veer into restricted lanes, law enforcers won’t have to guess which illustrious lawmaker decided rules are optional.
Imagine the thrill as enforcers call in, “We have a ‘7-14’ in the bus lane!”—a touch of drama, like spotting a rare bird! And think of the transparency: citizens would finally know exactly which senator or congressman considers their time too precious for mere traffic laws. After all, nothing says “public servant” quite like adding a few extra numbers to highlight just how above the law they really are.
(Editorial note: an SUV with the “7” plate number entered the exclusive bus way on EDSA last November 3, and when confronted by a traffic enforcer, backed up before speeding away.)
Who needs to travel when you can experience the thrill of airport parking?
With NAIA’s latest rates, at just P1,200 per night, you’re paying the equivalent of a one-way ticket to Puerto Princesa—without even leaving Manila! For two nights, you could buy a round-trip ticket, but why go anywhere when you can spend that cash on prime parking real estate?
Let’s not forget the convenience! For the price of a week-long parking stint, you could stay in a beachfront resort in Palawan, but who needs that? A view of concrete and a whiff of jet fuel is just as exotic. Why travel when you can treat your car to a luxurious stay? It’s the new travel hack: park, don’t fly.
In a bold geopolitical move, Governor Ron DeSantis threatens to take Florida’s sun-drenched beaches and alligator-infested swamps and secede if Kamala Harris wins the presidency this November.
Imagine the logistical nightmare! Americans needing visas to visit grandma in Boca Raton, Miami transformed into an international port of mystery, and Disney World packed up and moved to Ohio.
As DeSantis envisions Florida becoming the next great world power (surely rivaling Monaco), the rest of the U.S. breathes a quiet sigh of relief at the thought of a more aesthetically pleasing map. Without that peninsula awkwardly jutting into the Atlantic like a sunburned thumb, the country would look a bit more… streamlined.
Of course, this secession would also be a gift to international tourists, who can finally bypass Miami’s labyrinthine customs in favor of cruise ships launching from Georgia. Who knew the Sunshine State could shine so brightly outside the union?
The Adobo Chronicles 
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