Category Archives: Social Media

Politics, Social Media

Philippines: The Rise Of Dutertocracy

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Ah, the Dutertocracy – where governance takes a backseat to cursing, kissing women on stage, and punching sheriffs. In this thrilling new political genre, we witness the evolution of “public service,” where bravado is king, and tact is just for the weak. It’s a family affair, of course. Like father, like children: Sara with her strong-arm mayoral tactics, Paolo with his murky financial dealings, and Baste, well, he’s still figuring out which part of the script he plays. 

But the real gem here? The Dutertes’ unwavering belief that the rules don’t apply to them. Why should they? After all, they’ve perfected their oligarchic rule in Davao, and clearly, what works in one city must work for the entire country, right? Laws? Just suggestions. Checks and balances? Mere inconveniences. Welcome to the Philippines’ latest political dynasty – where accountability is optional, and audacity is the new leadership style.

Food, Law Enforcement, Social Media

Chooks-To-Go: Jay Sonza, Atty. Mark Tolentino Fall For Fiction!

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(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

In a stunning turn of events, Chooks-To-Go has found itself at the center of a “poultry” scandal, labeled “bastos” (ill-mannered) by former broadcaster-turned-blogger Jay Sonza. The outrage stemmed from the chain’s audacious move to feature a character eerily resembling the illustrious Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, now somewhat preoccupied with legal matters, in a cheeky chicken promo. 

Atty. Mark Tolentino, the flamboyant lawyer and Duterte supporter, even threw in the towel, calling for a full-scale boycott and warning of a possible cybercrime charge. Because, apparently, chicken and satire now fall under the dark web’s jurisdiction.

What Sonza and Tolentino missed, though, was the ever-present, all-forgiving disclaimer: “All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.” 

Come on, guys—haven’t we learned anything from all those Hollywood films? The cap worn by the character in the promo doesn’t even match Quiboloy’s in his iconic arrest mugshot. In the grand court of logic, Chooks-To-Go might have just roasted their critics on a spit, with a side of gravy.

Case closed! Time to order a bucket of chicken, because the only crime here is how irresistible it tastes.

Government, Legislation, Politics, Social Media

Congressman Marcoleta Wants This Country Ruled By Tradition!

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In a stunning display of “courtesy,” Congressman Rodante Marcoleta, once the gallant knight who brought ABS-CBN to its knees, has returned—this time to defend an even nobler cause: unchecked public spending by the Office of the Vice President. 

In a bold move, Marcoleta proposed that Congress, in its infinite wisdom, should skip the pesky business of asking where taxpayer money would go. After all, who needs transparency when you have “tradition” to fall back on? Never mind that the Constitution demands oversight—Marcoleta knows what’s truly important here: honoring the second highest office in the land with a blank check. Because nothing screams “good governance” like letting a public official write their own budget, no questions asked. 

If we follow Marcoleta’s logic, we might as well let tradition rule the country. Who needs laws, anyway? They’re so passé when you can just let courtesy take care of everything.