Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – With reports that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 with 239 people on board might have flown for six and a half hours after its transponder stopped sending signals on March 8, the search for the missing Boeing 777-200ER has expanded to a vast area stretching from the Indian Ocean to as far north as Kazakhstan.
Malaysian authorities have not ruled out any theories – from mechanical problems and pilot error to hijacking and pilot suicide. But they seemed to have missed one possible cause of the plane’s disappearance.
It took anchors and analysts from a respected U.S. news cable network to state the obvious: God may have stolen the plane.
The anchors and analysts bandied about the idea Sunday afternoon that something “beyond our understanding” happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that “something” being perhaps supernatural maybe?
“Especially today, on a day when we deal with the supernatural,” the anchor said. “We go to church, the supernatural power of God…people are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?”
What is surprising to television viewers is that the cable news network was not Fox News. It was CNN. The Anchor? Don Lemon.
Manila, Philippines – Last month, The Adobo Chronicles reported that Philippine Senator Vicente “Tito” Sotto III proposed to replace the country’s national symbol from the Philippine Eagle to the Tiger, consistent with economic forecasts that the Philippines is now considered the new “Asian Tiger.” Well, it turned out that Sotto’s proposal received lukewarm reception among his colleagues in the Senate as well as from the Filipino people.
Consequently, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago, chair of the Senate’s Committee on Constitutional Amendments and Revision of Codes asked the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) to send out a survey to all registered voters in the Philippines to find out what their preference is for the country’s new national symbol. Santiago said that she wanted input from the Filipinos on the most appropriate symbol that would represent the country and its system of government.
Here are the results of the survey, with 98% of registered voters accounted for:
1. Pig – 48%
2. Crocodile – 46%
3. Tiger – 3%
4. Philippine Eagle – 2%
5. Mermaid – 1%
In reporting the survey results, the COMELEC noted that Filipinos who suggested the pig were convinced that it best represents the pork barrel scam that has rocked the country and the political system in recent years. The crocodile, according to its proponents, represents the greed that seems to be a consistent characteristic of most politicians and government officials. As far as the mermaid is concerned, the COMELEC said Filipinos thought it best represents the marine and fisheries industry that is the prime source of livelihood for majority of the population. Observers, however, think that the choice of the mermaid was prompted by a new television series on the mythical creature that is about to make its debut in the Philippines. The TV series is titled “Dyesebel.”
Manila, Philippines – From Chicago to San Francisco, from Hong Kong to Venice, water ferries are a popular mode of transportation for both business and pleasure. Manila wants to be known as the ferry capital of the world and is working very hard to earn that distinction.
This week, the Manila Metropolitan Development Authority (MMDA) unveiled a prototype ferry that would transport passengers from one end of the polluted Pasig River to the other, and it is living up to the Philippine tourism meme of “It’s More Fun In the Philippines.”
The prototype ferry consists of a steel barge lined with used rubber tires and on it sits a yellow dilapidated mini-bus that once traversed the traffic-ridden streets of the Philippine metropolis. “The Pasig River ferry boat will be like no other in the world,” and MMDA official said. “It is not only a ferry boat, it is also a bus,” he added.
The new ferry boats will start operating sometime in April this year and passengers will be charged 80 Pesos (roughly $2) each way.
Instead of life jackets, passengers will be handed disposable face masks in order to protect them from the stench of the polluted river.
Responding to media questions, MMDA said that the new ferry system will not contribute to further polluting the river since the boats will not be using regular gasoline to operate. Instead, the boats will run on lambanog, a popular local wine made from coconut. Because of its potency, the lambanog “fuel” has the potential to kill bacteria and viruses that may be clinging to debris floating in the river. “Quite ingenious,” commented one Manila commuter who says he is so sick of the daily traffic gridlock.
MMDA said there will be 5 ferries operating, each with a capacity of 40 passengers. This means a potential of 200 less commuters on Manila’s overcrowded buses and jeepneys each time the ferries run.