In a bold act of caffeinated defiance, coffee shops across the globe are sticking it to Trump’s tariffs—one cup at a time. The beloved café Americano has mysteriously vanished from menus, replaced by the suddenly trendy café Canadiano (which is suspiciously the same drink but with a slightly smug apology on the side).
Independent cafés are leading the charge, but the real question is: Will Starbucks cave? The coffee giant is torn between its corporate neutrality and the undeniable marketing goldmine of a politically charged espresso shot. Will we soon see Freedom Frappuccinos battling Socialist Soy Lattes?
Meanwhile, MAGA supporters are reportedly switching to tea, only to realize it was the original protest beverage. And somewhere in Ottawa, Justin Trudeau sips his double-double, wondering how he got dragged into this.
One thing’s for sure—this trade war is brewing up some real bitterness.
In a surprising turn of events, China’s claim over Palawan is shaping up to be the greatest tourism campaign the province has ever seen! With whispers that the island might soon require a visa (or worse, a new Mandarin name), Filipinos are rushing to visit while it’s still officially part of the Philippines. Local businesses are cashing in, offering “Last Chance Philippine Palawan” tours, complete with snorkeling, seafood, and a free crash course in diplomatic disputes.
Even travel agencies are getting creative—offering packages like “Visit Now Before It’s a Disputed Zone” and “South China Sea Staycation.” Meanwhile, real estate prices are soaring, with investors betting on Palawan becoming the next Hong Kong—just with better beaches and fewer extradition laws.
At this rate, the Department of Tourism might even thank China for the economic boost! Who knew that an international territorial conflict could be so profitable?
(AC geopolitical correspondent Brian Neyra contributed to this report)
Zelensky ignored The White House Protocol Office’s request for him to wear a suit.
Trump was all the more outraged upon learning Zelensky bought his black, military-style outfit from Temu instead of Amazon.
Zelensky didn’t come with an interpreter. Trump and Vance couldn’t quite understand the Ukrainian president with his heavy accent.
First Lady Melania Trump prepared some tea and cookies for Mrs. Zelensky who was a no-show.
Zelensky didn’t come with a pleasing gift for Trump. No vodka. Not even Easter eggs. Zelensky just presented Trump with the championship belt of Ukrainian boxer Oleksandr Usyk.
Whenever Trump spoke, The White House web site was overwhelmed with “haha” emojis, compared to the hearts and thumbs up whenever Zelensky was speaking.
Vance was bitter that Zelensky never said “thank you” to his boss for U.S. help extended to Ukraine which Trump had absolutely nothing to do with.
Zelensky, during The White House welcome ceremony, executed a Sieg Heil salute to the U.S. flag.
Elon Musk’s son who was in the Oval Office during the visit, cried in fear upon seeing Zelensky.
A member of the press was overheard saying that Zelensky was more good-looking than Trump and Vance combined.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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