Category Archives: Race Relations

A Brit Named Malcolm Conlan

Malcolm Conlan, the UK’s self-appointed guardian of Philippine politics, is back at it again—this time with an online petition demanding that Rodrigo Duterte be allowed to appear before the ICC via video call. Because nothing screams “justice” like Zoom court. This is the same man who once tried to revoke Maria Ressa’s citizenship, push Atty. Glenn Chong into public office, and erect a Queen Elizabeth statue in England—an idea so compelling that it gathered a grand total of 46 signatures.

At this point, one must ask: Is Malcolm allergic to real employment? Perhaps he should join his Filipino family in selling imported RTWs instead of peddling irrelevant petitions. Surely, selling ukay-ukay is more fulfilling than single-handedly attempting to reshape Philippine governance from his London flat. But hey, if online petitions paid rent, Malcolm would be a billionaire. Unfortunately, they don’t—just like his chances of being taken seriously.

Today’s Sing-along: Bye, Bye, Mr.American Whiskey (video)

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(to the tune of “American Pie”)

[Verse 1]

A long, long time ago, I can still remember

How that whiskey used to warm my soul.

But tariffs came, the price got high,

And now my glass is running dry—

I knew that we’d be losing it too soon.

[Verse 2]

So bye-bye to Kentucky supply,

Now I’m sipping maple bourbon with a tear in my eye.

Them good old boys used to drink it with pride,

Now it’s taxed up and stacked up so high.

[Verse 3]

Well, I went down to my old saloon,

The bartender sang a lonesome tune,

He said, “Son, Jack and Jim are hard to find.”

So I turned to rye from Montreal,

But it just don’t have that kick at all—

Another drink, another dream left behind.

(Chorus repeats…)

Today’s Editorial Cartoon: Cha Cha Cha