BAGUIO CITY—In a shocking turn of events, Diwata, the self-proclaimed “Pares Overlord,” graced this year’s Panagbenga Festival with his very own float. Yes, you read that right. While the streets bloomed with breathtaking floral arrangements, one thorn stuck out like a sore thumb—and it had a microphone.

Nobody knows exactly how Diwata infiltrated the parade, but theories range from divine intervention to a clerical error. His float, a monstrous tribute to unlimited rice and questionable charisma, rolled through Session Road as spectators whispered, “Bakit siya nandito?” Meanwhile, his loyal fans (both of them) cheered him on.

Dressed in a colorful Cordilleran vest, Diwata waved to the crowd like a B-movie monarch, occasionally belting out unsolicited life advice. Organizers have yet to comment on this floral invasion, but one thing’s clear: in a festival meant to celebrate beauty, we were all forced to witness something… truly unforgettable. Or is it regrettable?