Category Archives: Politics

Fact Check, Law Enforcement, Politics, Race Relations, Social Media

Malcolm Conlan, The Self-Proclaimed Brit Savior Of The Philippines

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LONDON—Self-proclaimed “Filipino advocate” Malcolm Conlan, a Brit with an impressive collection of Barong Tagalog and unsolicited opinions, has once again inserted himself into Philippine affairs.

Conlan, best known for his prolific letter-writing campaigns—to Donald Trump, King Charles, the Emir of Qatar and, for all we know, Santa Claus—has turned his online petitions into an art form.

Who can forget his heartfelt plea to strip Maria Ressa of Filipino citizenship, because apparently, Conlan wants it for himself.

Filipinos worldwide are reportedly baffled. “Who appointed him our spokesperson?” asked one netizen. “Did we miss an election?”

Sources say Conlan spends his days refreshing change.org, awaiting new causes to champion—preferably those that involve defending Rodrigo Duterte, demanding international intervention, or reminding people he once rode a jeepney.

Is it time for us to start a petition om change.org to ban Conlan from well change.org?

As of press time, King Charles, et.al. have yet to respond to his letters, presumably too busy being actual heads of state.

International, Politics, Race Relations, Social Media

An Open Letter To King Charles

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Your Royal Highness,

I would like to recommend that Mr. Malcolm Conlan be given a job in the Ministry Of Foreign Relations, or whatever you call that government agency.

His passion for writing letters to heads-of-state and international agencies, though utterly useless and senseless, deserves to be noticed, and will prove to be quite amusing and entertaining to your subjects.

Cheerio,

Melchor Vergara
A Real Filipino

Government, Politics, Social Media, The Media

OPINION: An Unsolicited Advice For Usec Claire Castro

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Undersecretary Claire Castro has turned the once-straightforward presidential press briefing into a viral spectacle—part official statement, part roast session. Her sharp one-liners and witty clapbacks have earned her an online fan club, but let’s not forget that her job isn’t to trend on social media but to convey the president’s actual pronouncements.

There’s a fine line between being a spokesperson and a personal commentator, and lately, it seems that line has been erased faster than a redacted government memo. The Malacañang podium isn’t a vlog where opinions fly freely—it’s a platform of authority. So while we all enjoy a good mic-drop moment, let’s keep the presidential palace from becoming a comedy bar. After all, policy matters should be clearer than a punchline.

Usec, let’s keep the press briefings presidential—save the spicy takes for lunch break!