Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – NoyNoy Aquino is reportedly busy preparing for his second six-year term as president of the Philippines, despite a provision in the constitution that limits the presidential term to one six-year term. This nation of 100 Million people will go to the polls in 2016 to pick their new president.
The Adobo Chronicles has uncovered a top-secret memorandum from Malacañang (the presidential palace) setting aside 10 Billion pesos from the president’s Disbursement Acceleration Program, or DAP, to fund a nationwide grassroots campaign to re-elect Aquino even if his name is not on the ballot.
The strategy would be to recruit 51 Million Filipino voters to write in Aquino’s name on the official ballot come election day. Each write-in voter will be paid an undisclosed amount from the DAP funds.
With majority of the Filipinos ‘voting’ for Aquino, the election case will certainly be brought before the Philippine Supreme Court for a decision. Given that the average number of years for the Supreme Court to decide on cases is six years, this will delay the proclamation of a new president until 2022. In the meantime, Aquino will be acting president beyond his current six-year term.
Even if the court eventually declares a different elected president, Aquino would have already served an additonal six years as acting president.
Now if the court decides to respect the people’s write-in vote, Aquino would then have another six years as president until 2028.
Aquino’s brilliant advisers have just taught the world how one can become a president for life without having to declare Martial Law!
Denver, Colorado (Exclusive to The Adobo Chronicles) – Many people know about Sarah Palin’s recent speech in Denver, ranting for more than 30 minutes about impeaching President Barack Obama. But very few people know that the former vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor was arrested for public intoxication.
“Your government wasted no time in responding. We immediately cleared the airport, which is why, within 24 hours after the storm, three C130s were able to bring in aid. On that same day, we were also able to set up a communications hub to hasten the flow of information. On the second day, the Department of Health’s Rapid Health Assessment teams arrived, as well as additional soldiers, policemen, and BFP personnel from other provinces. Likewise, workers from DSWD lead relief operations—in the distribution centers in Eastern Visayas or in repacking centers all around the country.”
“We are investing in our most valuable resource: The Filipino people. Data from the National Economic Development Authority attests to our success. According to them, the 27.9 percent poverty rate during the first semester of 2012 went down to 24.9 percent for the same period in 2013. These three percentage points are equivalent to 2.5 million Filipinos who have crossed the poverty line.”
On Classroom Shortage: “The inherited backlog in books, chairs, and classrooms: erased; while we are working to fulfill the new needs brought about by the implementation of K to 12.” Students “no longer have to study in overcrowded classrooms.”
On Government Spending of Taxpayer Money: “In addition to the national integrity we have restored is the world’s recognition of a new Philippines. The nation’s coffers, which come from the sweat of our citizens, are being spent only for their benefit.”
On Disaster Preparedness and Modern Forecasting System: “Let us remember: God proposes, but man disposes. This is likewise the idea behind our efforts for disaster preparedness. We are strengthening the capabilities of our LGUs, (Local Government Units) who are the frontliners in times of disasters, through a modern and comprehensive forecasting system. “
The Adobo Chronicles 
You must be logged in to post a comment.