Category Archives: Politics

Sara Duterte Has More Security Than Pope Francis And King Charles COMBINED!

In a shocking twist, Vice President Sara Duterte has to make do with less than a measly 433 bodyguards after the scandalous withdrawal of 75 police officers.

This tragic reduction leaves her with a little less than the combined security of Pope Francis and King Charles including his entire Royal Family. How will she manage?

Is she guarding state secrets, or perhaps a special recipe for adobo? The Philippines must be the world’s most dangerous place for a vice president.

While the Pope strolls through crowds with a mere 135 guards, and the British royals sleep soundly with 185, Duterte faces her nation’s grocery stores, ribbon cuttings and funerals with an almost laughable 433 protectors.

This cutback surely jeopardizes national security — or at least the nation’s supply of ‘manananggal’ repellent. Indeed, only in the Philippines could such a reduction be seen as an existential threat.

Senator Bato Dela Rosa Forming A Private Army To Guard VP Sara Duterte?

Senator Bato dela Rosa has once again proven his knack for bold, innovative ideas by urging police and Armed Forces retirees to volunteer as a security detail for Vice President Sara Duterte.

In a move that surely raises no ethical questions whatsoever, the good senator seems blissfully unaware that he’s practically advocating for a private army for the nation’s second-highest official. After all, who needs checks and balances when you can have a loyal, handpicked battalion?

This brilliant strategy surely won’t set any alarming precedents about power consolidation or militarization of politics. Perhaps next, Senator Bato might suggest we bring back feudal fiefdoms, complete with knights in shining armor to guard our leaders.

It’s a comforting thought, really, to envision our retirees, who should be enjoying their hard-earned rest, instead patrolling the Vice President’s premises, ensuring that democracy remains secure under their vigilant watch.

Did Atty. Harry Roque Just Incriminate Himself?

In a twist worthy of a telenovela, Atty. Harry Roque, the former spokesperson for Rodrigo Duterte, has promised to expose the officials protecting illegal POGO operations when he testifies before a Senate committee next week.

It’s a dramatic announcement, but the real drama just unfolded when law enforcement nabbed two Chinese nationals involved in illegal POGO activities. The kicker? They were caught in what is believed to be Roque’s very own home in Tuba, Benguet.

Now, Roque’s vow to unmask the villains of the POGO underworld is starting to look more like a grand unmasking of himself. Is it a bold strategy to divert attention, or simply a plot twist no one saw coming? Either way, the Senate testimony next week promises to be must-see TV.

Grab your popcorn, folks, as Roque’s attempt to play hero might just end with him as the main antagonist. The irony is so rich, it should come with a side of hot butter.