Category Archives: National News

Comelec Should Have Been Given A Hefty Budget!

Ah, the Philippine national budget—a masterpiece of priorities!

Once again, we’re treated to the spectacle of zero subsidy for PhilHealth (because who needs healthcare when we have resilience, right?) and yet another generous helping of pork barrel funds for our legislators (they do love their pork extra fatty).

Meanwhile, the Commission on Elections (Comelec) remains as efficient as a carabao in quicksand. No budget boost to enforce campaign laws? Perfect! Why ruin the tradition of billboards sprouting like mushrooms even before the official campaign period begins?

Imagine if Comelec had funds to hire investigators for vote-buying cases or workers to remove illegal posters. Not only would democracy be served, but unemployment would plummet too! Revolutionary!

But why stop there? Maybe next year’s budget can include a line item for a Department of Irony—because, clearly, satire has become policy. Here’s to another year of misplaced priorities!

Today, We Take A Break From Our Satire To Bring You This…

https://www.positivelyfilipino.com/magazine/mary-jane-veloso-comes-home-in-time-for-christmas

Bagong Polymer Na Dalawampung Piso?

Nagulantang ang bayan nang ilunsad ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas ang bagong polymer peso bills, kung saan pinalitan ang mga bayani’t presidente ng mga hayop. Aba, parang sinabi na rin nilang mas bagay ang pera sa wildlife kaysa sa legacy ng tao! Pero bago pa maghimutok nang husto ang sambayanan, kumalat ang balita tungkol sa umano’y bagong P20 bill: may imahe raw ng isang orange na pusit, na tila sumasalamin kay Vice President Sara Duterte.

Biglang nanahimik ang mga kritiko. “Wow, finally, representation!” sigaw ng ilan. Ang iba naman, tumatawa sa irony—literal na may squid sa pera habang ang ekonomiya ay parang underwater na rin.

Ang masaya, mukhang mas tanggap ng publiko ang pusit kaysa polymer bills. Siguro kasi mas relatable ang pusit: versatile, colorful, at mahusay umiwas sa responsibilidad—este, sa predator. Sa huli, sabi nga nila, all’s well that ends squid… este, well!