Category Archives: Media

Exclusive: Who Reads And Watches What, And Where They Hang Out

IMG_8295.PNGMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – A newly-released survey by Poll Asia (not to be confused with Pulse Asia) shows which newspapers or blogs are read by what type of Filipinos and which television news they watch.  The ground-breaking survey also indicates where they all hang out, in case you want to hang out with them.

The Manila Times is read by those who want General Douglas McArthur to return to the Philippines. They usually hang out at Manila’s Army & Navy Club.

The Manila Bulletin is read by those who want Ferdinand E. Marcos to return as president of the Philippines. In his absence, Bongbong Marcos will do. They usually hang out at the Manila Hotel.

The Philippine Star is read by those who wished Ninoy Aquino had not been assassinated. He could have been president of the Philippines. They usually hang out at Club Filipino in San Juan.

The Inquirer is read by those who think Cory Aquino should be canonized as the next Filipino Saint. They usually hang out the Archbishop’s Palace in Mandaluyong.

ABS-CBN News is watched by Filipino oligarchs. They usually hang out at Shangri-la Hotel in Makati

GMA News is watched by the fans of AlDub. They never switch channels for fear of missing an episode of the noon-time show, “Eat Bulaga.” They usually hang out — where else — outside GMA studios in Quezon City.

CNN Philippines is watched by Senator Risa Hontiveros. She usually hangs out with her sister, Pia Hontiveros of CNN

People’s Television (PTV) is usually watched by Secretary Martin Andanar. Of course he hangs out in Malacañang.

Rappler is usually read by Maria Ressa and her staff. They usually hang out on Facebook and Twitter.

Raissa Robles Blog is usually read by… Does anyone really read her? Anyone who does doesn’t really hang out anywhere.

EPILOGUE:

Sass Rogando Sasot has 310,00 likes
Thinking Pinoy has 410,000 likes
Mocha Uson Blog has over 4 million followers
The Adobo Chronicles has had close to 25 million views since it was launched three years ago.

*We all hang out in the cloud!

The Kings And Queens Of The Philippines

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Now that ‘Sunday Beauty Queen’ has been named best picture of the Metro Manila Film Festival, it’s time to name the Kings and Queens of the Philippines, based on their impact on the events of 2016.

President Duterte:    Mura King

President Duterte: Pu King (short for P*tang *na)

Senator Leila de Lima: Dakdak Queen

Vice President Robredo: Dakdak Queen II

Vice President Robredo: Long Distance Queen

General Bato: King Tokhang

Senator Trillanes: Bu King

Mocha Uson: Blog Queen

Cynthia Patag: Laos Queen (not the country)

Raissa Robles: Reklamo Queen

Sass Rogando Sassot: Pisass (Pizzazz) Queen

Kris Aquino, retired: Queen of No Media

Ferdinand E. Marcos: Libing King

Yellow Forces, Coalition Against the Return of the Marcoses to Malacañang (CARMM), Black Friday Movement:  Hukay Kings and Queens

Renato Reyes (Bagong Alyansang Makabayan Secretary General): Rally King

Former President Fidel Ramos: King Kingan

Loida Nicolas-Lewis: Di Maka Move-on Queen

Loida Nicolas-Lewis: Long Distance Queen II

Korina Sanchez: Atraso Queen  (wait lang kayo, ha)

Former President NoyNoy Aquino: King Inangyan

Mar Roxas: King Inangyan II

Did we miss anyone?  Please add them in the comments section.

Happy New Year, all ye Kings and Queens!