The Kings And Queens Of The Philippines

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Now that ‘Sunday Beauty Queen’ has been named best picture of the Metro Manila Film Festival, it’s time to name the Kings and Queens of the Philippines, based on their impact on the events of 2016.

President Duterte:    Mura King

President Duterte: Pu King (short for P*tang *na)

Senator Leila de Lima: Dakdak Queen

Vice President Robredo: Dakdak Queen II

Vice President Robredo: Long Distance Queen

General Bato: King Tokhang

Senator Trillanes: Bu King

Mocha Uson: Blog Queen

Cynthia Patag: Laos Queen (not the country)

Raissa Robles: Reklamo Queen

Sass Rogando Sassot: Pisass (Pizzazz) Queen

Kris Aquino, retired: Queen of No Media

Ferdinand E. Marcos: Libing King

Yellow Forces, Coalition Against the Return of the Marcoses to Malacañang (CARMM), Black Friday Movement:  Hukay Kings and Queens

Renato Reyes (Bagong Alyansang Makabayan Secretary General): Rally King

Former President Fidel Ramos: King Kingan

Loida Nicolas-Lewis: Di Maka Move-on Queen

Loida Nicolas-Lewis: Long Distance Queen II

Korina Sanchez: Atraso Queen  (wait lang kayo, ha)

Former President NoyNoy Aquino: King Inangyan

Mar Roxas: King Inangyan II

Did we miss anyone?  Please add them in the comments section.

Happy New Year, all ye Kings and Queens!

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