By Steven Pabalinas
Ah, Prof. Anna Malindog-Uy — political analyst, Duterte enthusiast, and now, apparently, high priestess of irony. Her top senatorial pick? None other than Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, the self-proclaimed Son of God currently juggling more charges than a power bank at a music festival. Sure, he’s “innocent until proven guilty,” but so is every Bond villain before the plot unfolds. Still, Malindog-Uy cites his “moral ascendancy” — which, given the accusations of sex trafficking and abuse, feels less like a moral high ground and more like a moral sinkhole.
One wonders: does the good professor use a Magic 8 Ball for political insight or does she just go with whoever’s most likely to benefit her fledgling career as a social media influencer? Either way, if Quiboloy is her moral compass, then perhaps her North points straight to Fantasyland, a place where delusion reigns and accountability takes a very, very long sabbatical.
(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)
In a shocking turn of events, Senator Chiz Escudero has declared war—not on corruption, poverty, or political dynasties—but on the English language.
At the heart of this linguistic scandal is the word “forthwith,”which the good senator claims is to blame for the delay in VP Sara Duterte’s impeachment trial. His demand? That the Constitution should have used “immediately” instead, as if the fate of the nation hangs on a vocabulary choice.
One might wonder: has Chiz ever met a dictionary? Or, dare we say, Google? Because a five-second search would have told him that forthwith and immediately mean the same thing. But no—why fact-check when you can blame dead constitutional framers instead?
Perhaps next, Escudero will argue that ASAP should be enshrined in our laws, just to make sure no senator ever gets confused again. Until then, we wish him a swift (forthwith? immediately?) enlightenment.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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