After months of playing hide-and-seek abroad, Atty. Harry Roque has finally decided to grace the Philippines with his presence—on one condition: he’s bringing Rodrigo Duterte along. Well, that’s touching, like a fugitive’s version of a “bring a friend” promo.

The irony? Roque himself made the announcement, contradicting his own asylum plea in The Netherlands. So, does he want protection or just attention?

Of course, Roque’s conditions don’t really matter. The real question is: will the ICC let Duterte travel freely, or decide to host him in The Hague for a long, long time?

Roque may think he’s in control of his return, but reality begs to differ. He dodged Congress, evaded subpoenas, and ran from the law—but now he wants to waltz back home on his own terms? Nice try, counselor. As always, the law isn’t about what Roque wants—it’s about what finally catches up with him.

Atty. Roque, so bold, so grand,

Yet when trouble knocked, he fled the land!

Through airports he dashed, oh what a sight,

Like a telenovela’s cowardly knight.

To Singapore first, “I need some space!”

Denied at customs—what a disgrace!

Dubai was next, “Please take me in!”

But they just laughed, “You won’t fit in.”

Shanghai said, “No, not today,”

Macao waved, “Go far away!”

But still he hoped, with bags in tow,

That Japan would let him go.

At Narita’s gates, his dreams took flight,

“Final stop: U.S., out of sight!”

But fate was cruel, his hopes went bust—

“No boarding for you, we don’t trust!”

Now with no other place to hide,

Justice knocks—his turn to slide!

Oh, Atty. Roque, brave no more,

A runaway lawyer—what a lore!