In a spectacle that could only be described as “The Apprentice: White House Edition,” President Trump and Vice President Vance took turns chastising Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky like a couple of irate high school principals. The reason? Zelensky apparently forgot to memorize his lines from the Trump Doctrine—specifically, the one where he praises Russia and pretends the invasion never happened.
Scrapping a joint press conference over Zelensky’s refusal to play along? That’s some top-tier reality TV pettiness. If Trump thinks he’s a monarch handing down decrees, Zelensky must’ve missed the memo that he’s just a lowly subject. But hey, it’s not every day you see two Goliaths trying to humble David—on live television, no less! Maybe next time, the White House should just hand out a script in advance. After all, if you’re going to demand obedience, at least give your guest a proper cue card!
In a shocking twist that surprises absolutely no one, former President Donald Trump has taken his nostalgic obsession with the “good old days” to the next level with his latest initiative: MAWA—Make America White Again.
Under a flurry of Executive Orders, Trump has boldly renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America—a move that likely left Mexico unfazed but had Florida retirees cheering. He’s also doubling down on deportations, but mostly for non-White immigrants (because fairness is overrated). Meanwhile, federal funding cuts now target programs that actually help people of color, because who needs equity when you have Trump Steaks?
Adding to his legacy, Trump unceremoniously fired two top Black members (one of them a woman) from the military’s Joint Chiefs of Staff, proving once again that “diversity” in his administration is as welcome as facts at a MAGA rally. And, of course, in true Trump fashion, he forgot that Native Americans were here first. Oops.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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